The Super Hero Commercials We Wish The Super Bowl Had Run

They may tout themselves as bastions of moral integrity, but comic book super heroes are some of popular culture's biggest sellouts. Both DC and Marvel Comics have farmed their characters out for commercials several times over the past few decades, using their iconic stature to help sell credit cards, milk, and more. 

With the 2015 Super Bowl dropping the year's single greatest deluge of commercials, we look back at the commercials that best utilized the world's finest heroes. Through them, we learn that not only can superheroes entertain and inspire, but they can push a product like none other.

Batman for Onstar

If the Batmobile needs Onstar, then clearly the average minvan does too, right? That's the premise behind the advertisement campaign for the onboard guiding service. Running between 2000 and 2002, OnStar and Warner Bros. dusted off Tim Burton Batmobile for a series of commercials that felt more like legitimate scenes from some long-lost Batman film. In each commercial, Batman called upon Onstar's help in his vehicular pursuits against The Joker, Penguin, and more. With a reported $50 million budget for the campaign, it's easy to see why each installment seemed more like a high-quality romp through Gotham than an advertising campaign. But even with a shoestring budget, we think Batman could sell an igloo to Mr. Freeze. 

The Avengers For Got Milk?

When the forces of osteoporosis threaten the weak and brittle bones of America's youngster, only power of  the milkman can rise to stop the insidious bone disease's plot. With credentials like that, the milkman was swiftly inducted into the Avengers in this 1999 commercial for milk. Long before the days of the Avengers—let alone comic book films—seeing live-action versions of Marvel's heroes in one room was quite the novelty. And heroes didn't look half-bad either, sporting some high-quality costumes that are a step above Disney World, but not quite ready for the Hollywood lots. Either way, an endorsement from Captain America is more than enough of a reason to down an extra glass of milk a day. 

Superman for American Express

In this series of advertisements, Superman stand for truth, justice, the American way…and meta commentary on the humdrum challenges of everyday life. It's hard to believe now, but America's biggest superhero once teamed-up with its biggest comedian, Jerry Seinfeld, for an extensive American Express ad campaign and web series. Surprisingly, each installment resisted pushing the credit card down viewers' throats, instead opting to make webisodes about Superman and Jerry's relationship. The entire series plays out like a bonus mini-season of Seinfeld, with Superman and Jerry making mountains out of minute problems like overly rich tuna salad, pistachios, and crummy reality shows. The ads didn't really convince anyone to sign up with American Express, but that hardly seems like their main intent. Indeed, these commercials may be one of the better multimedia interpretations of Superman around. 

Man of Steel for Hardee's 

For the release of Man of Steel in 2013, fast food chain Hardee's unleashed the Super Bacon Thick Burger on the masses, creating a public threat more dangerous to the public's health than General Zod himself. But the cross promotion didn't end with indigestion, as Hardee's released a special commercial featuring both their burger and the Last Son of Krypton. It's actually a pretty humorous look at Superman's world, as a lone construction worker must rely on the Super Thick Burger to power through the massive mess that Superman  and Zod leave behind. But hey, at least Big Blue stops by for a quick wink before proceeding to snap Zod's neck. After all, nothing washes a burger down better than a helping of murder.  

X-Men For Chef Boyardee

It's an animated comic! No, it's a cartoon series! No, it's a death sentence for any parent who takes their kid to the grocery store! Well actually, Chef Boyardee's commercial for their X-Men inspired pasta was all three. In the animated series-inspired advertisement, clearly aimed for the series' same viewers, Mr. Sinister imprisons the Uncanny X-Men inside…a can. That can must have been made out of adamantium or something, because we're pretty sure Wolverine could tear his way out pretty quickly. Regardless, the commercial told its impressionable audience that only they could "free" the X-Men by opening the can (presumably with an adamantium can opener and—eating them? Our hearts and bellies may carry a soft spot for the sodium-enriched treat, but this commercial has more holes in logic than a Claremont-era time travel story.