In a new survey that indicates people really don't understand what it takes to make a successful relationship, Thor and Black Widow have been named the "most dateable" movie characters for Valentine's Day.
Nevermind that Thor is an actual, immortal god who spends most of his time in an extradimensional kingdom. Never mind that Black Widow is an emotionally stunted assassin whose last relationship was with a giant, green, rage monster. Chris Hemsworth and Scarlett Johansson are hot!
USA Today reports that Black Widow beat out Katniss/Jennifer Lawrence from Mockingjay, Part 2, Rey/Daisy Ridley, from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Anastasia Steele/Dakota Johnson from Fifty Shades of Grey and Letty/Michelle Rodriguez from Furious 7.
Leaving aside the fact that this seemingly indicates most guys are into women who can kick the ever-loving crap out of them (except Anastasia Steele, which is a whole other thing), it seems like maybe this survey's idea of an ideal Valentine's Day date is somebody who's got serious abandonment issues (Rey), a ridiculous amount of family drama (Katniss), a kinky sex life (Steele), or...I don't know. Something about Furious 7. I didn't watch it.
On the guys' side, Hemsworth beat out Robert Downey, Jr's Tony Stark (emotionally-crippled narcissist) and Chris Evans's Steve Rogers (...okay, I got basically nothing bad to say about Captain America, except that dating somebody whose entire life was 75 years ago seems really hard), as well as Daniel Craig's James Bond (emotionally crippled narcissist WITH family drama and abandonment issues, plus how many people has he slept with? Make sure to use protection, people), and Robert B. Jordan's Adonis Johnson from Creed (anger issues).
So...yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!