Metroid Gets Picked Apart By Honest Game Trailers

Honest Trailers has been prodding away at a number of game series over the past few months, from Crash Bandicoot to Spyro the Dragon to a handful of others. But this time, it’s going after one of Nintendo’s most beloved franchises – Metroid.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “They’re going right after Metroid: Other M, right?” Well, sure, that gets picked on quite a bit, but there are also other nuances that get pointed out over the course of the Honest Game Trailer, which you can see above.

First off, the trailer discusses the “future football armor of Samus Aran,” and her legacy of being a bounty hunter going after “the most dangerous criminals in the galaxy – giant floating ballsacs with teeth.” It also talks about how you shoot your way around caverns, “in case you missed a hidden missile tank.”

Oh, and it makes note of Samus’ hyperactivity in some places, dismissing it as “obsessive compulsive disorder” as she bursts her way through walls. It then mentions how the local wildlife seems to be strife with missiles and health goo for some-odd reason. (Why is that, anyway? Are they carrying them around as part of their economy?)

It then discusses how you’ll find a number of power-ups from “alien chicken statues,” then using them to access new areas that you couldn’t reach before using abilities, such as “flipping like a coked-out gymnast” and “scrunch up into a tiny ball that’s a sixth of Samus’ normal size.” And, of course, there’s a porn reference. Because obviously there is – it’s Honest Game Trailers.

It then breaks down the legacy of the Metroid series, including the SNES Super Metroid that’s considered a classic; the Metroid Prime games, which have an “asstons of first-person platforming”; and, of course, Metroid: Other M, with its “melodramatic story” and focus on the word “baby.” Oh, yeah, and you gotta love that Metroid Pinball shout-out. Finally, some respect!

You can watch the full Honest Game Trailer above and revel in its greatness, but mind a few of the jabs. She rolls up in a ball because she can, guys.

By the way, Metroid: Samus Returns, the latest game in the series, is available now.