Avengers: Infinity War is about to shut down movie theaters everywhere, and there will be a ton of tie-in merchandise that comes along with it. However, few Marvel fans probably expected this one: there is now a line of Avengers-themed sex toys!
io9 has a report about the latest release from Geeky Sex Toys, a company that sells sex toys based on popular geek properties. Needless to say, the products in this Avengers: Infinity War line are at once hilarious, frightening, and all-around cringe-worthy.
Here's the breakdown of what you can get:
- A Captain America (or "Captain Anal") butt plug .
- An Iron Man-themed "Arse Reactor" butt plug.
- A giant Hulk dildo. And we do mean GIANT. We've nicknamed it "Mean Green" - official name is "Incredible Dong."
- Some kind of Hawkeye-themed arrow-shaped plug called "HawkAss." Not certain where it's meant to go - but we know it always hits its target 😉.
- A Black Widow fleshlight, naturally.
- "Möan-lnir, Thor's hammer with a dildo handle. For the true collectors in the bunch.
- Last but not least, "The Infinity Fist," for those who want to feel the full might of Thanos' wrath 😂 🤣.
For the full NSFW gallery of images, head to io9!
Needless to say, the legality of this is all pretty questionable. Maybe it falls under "parody?" Seriously though, it seems like there would be a limited market for ardent Marvel Cinematic Universe fans who want to bring their fandom into the bedroom in such an... intense manner. One would think that there would be more soft core methods of incorporating fandom into sex, such as your classic sexy cosplay, or if you're more... advanced in your tastes, some gender-swapped cosplay perhaps?
Still, to each their own. Some people may want to take their Marvel sex-play all the way, and we can see how The Infinity Fist orArse Reactor would help complete the fantasy.Möan-lnir and the Widow are helpful to all the lonely souls out there - and we are at once intrigued and frightened by the person who would bring the Incredible Dong into the mix.
There's also a big opportunity for some cross-promotion here: the inevitable Avengers: Infinity War porn-parody could definitely get some mileage out of these some of these accoutrements...
Avengers: Infinity War releases on April 27. Other upcoming Marvel Cinematic Universe movies include Ant-Man and the Wasp on July 6, Captain Marvel on March 8, 2019, the fourth Avengersmovie on May 3, 2019, the sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming on July 5, 2019, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 in 2020.