Ted 2 Review: A Ludicrous Comedy, Not For The Faint Of Heart

If I told you Ted 2 was better than it's predecessor, would that really mean all that much?

Seth McFarlane returns with the same bag of tricks first seen in 2012's Ted (or anything else McFarlane plays a part in) for Ted 2. It's the same crude, racist, sexist, exaggerated stoner humor with a quick set up and quick payoff for each of the many jokes. For people who can find the kicks in the aforementioned type of jokes, Ted 2 will surely knock it out of the park. Those who are easily offended shouldn't even go near the theater's parking lot where Ted 2 is playing.

Audiences aren't spending $10 at the box office for a thought-provoking story when they ask the usher for a ticket to Ted 2, but they'll find the titular teddy bear in a real struggle. Ted (Seth McFarlane) marries equally foul-mouthed and ill moraled co-worked Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) to get the ball rolling but the marriage unravels in the second act when the law decides Ted is not a person and ineligible of human rights, marriage being one of them. Ted is given no choice but to prove his personhood in court which is apparently a lot tougher than it sounds.

Things aren't going well for Ted's Thunder Buddy, either. John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) has managed to keep his job at Enterprise but girlfriend-turned-wife in Ted, Lori (Mila Kunis), has now turned ex-wife (probably thanks to Kunis being disinterested in the sequel) and John finds himself out of "the game." Really, these problems mean nothing for Ted and John as they could probably live happily ever after getting high on John's couch (and it would be the same amount of fun to watch) but the story must go on!

Ted and John's escapades on the road (literally, from Boston to New York) of proving Ted's personhood get more ridiculous as time goes on. It's fun watching Wahlberg act so childish, though. The buff actor has become known for his roles in Lone Survivor, The Fighter, and Transformers: Age of Extinction but is no stranger to being silly. He's pulled it off in both Pain & Gain and 2 Guns where he played an undercover cop with unwarranted confidence opposite Denzel Washington. In the Ted franchise, though, it looks Wahlberg just has fun. For an audience, that's a good thing - as long as McFarlane isn't plaguing the screen with a dancing act for the opening credits which makes even the biggest Ted advocate want to walk out of the theater in the movie's first 10 minutes.

McFarlane's humor is a very specific type. There's a trio of running jokes throughout Ted 2 but McFarlane earns most of his laughs through quick scenarios and outrageous comparisons of Ted's civil rights case to real-life struggles. The laughs mostly stem from disbelief in a movie's willingness to comment about such topics in today's sensitive world, but they're written in and, at a couple of points, seem to actually have heart behind them despite their cynical presentation. While the pop culture references should and will be appreciated, especially what seems like a last minute voice add-in about Tom Brady and the deflated NFL balls and a cameo from Liam Neeson, McFarlane does little else to earn his laughs. Ted 2 features a small handful memorable gags. The rest will come and go as fast as the $10 you spent on admission. What you won't forget is an absolutely horrid scene where Mark Wahlberg buries himself in specimens from a sperm bank. Rarely, if ever, would I say a movie goes too far, but Ted 2 tried too hard for a here which turned out to be more disgusting than anything else.

What's most disappointing about Ted 2 is the jokes it missed. In a cameo heavy movie loaded with jokes focused on a quick set up and instant pay off it, it missed a few lines which were otherwise spoon fed to the script. Instead, it chose to exaggerate the nerd-level of New York Comic Con with the super-manly Guy (Patrick Warburton) and his new boyfriend (sorry, folks, no Ryan Reynolds cameo this time around) who pick on people who apparently would never stand up for themselves.

Still, Ted 2 is better than Ted. Ted 2 does get a little tied up in trying to actually have a narrative, forgetting that it is just a ludicrous comedy, but this actually makes Ted 2 better. The laughs are more diverse and more frequent, no matter how quickly they'll come and go. Surprisingly, Ted actually has a bit of an arc, as well. While he maintains the same foul mouth and devil-may-care attitude for most of the sequel, he actually has purpose this time around other than serving as the friend most of the audience wishes they could hang out with for a day. But does anyone watching Ted 2 really want anything more than that?

By the end of Ted 2's 115 minutes, most audiences will be looking at their watch. Keeping attention on the ridiculous story of a foul-mouthed teddy bear wanting to become a person and father is no easy feat and it is hardly accomplished in Ted 2.

Bottom Line: The bits of what worked in Ted get new additions in Ted 2 but still, it's a ludicrous comedy not for the faint of heart. 6.0/10