Patrick Stewart Pizza Eating Continues To Captivate The World

While there's a running joke about people using Twitter to tweet things as mundane as what they [...]

Patrick Stewart Eats Pizza

While there's a running joke about people using Twitter to tweet things as mundane as what they ate for breakfast, Patrick Stewart tweeted what he had for lunch, and it's become a major media story. Of course, what's made Stewart's lunch choice so captivating to the world is that at 72 years old the actor revealed that he was eating a pizza slice for the very first time. The photo quickly went viral, as most of the world was baffled at how anyone could go 72 years without ever trying a food as commonplace as pizza. In addition to the pizza, Stewart's choice of hat wear and his rather small soda size also attracted attention. Because there has been such a huge reaction to the photo, Patrick Stewart took to Twitter again today to share several clarifications. Stewart tweeted, "To clarify: 1) I've never had a 'slice' 2) I've been a Habs fan all of 4 weeks 3) I'm also a fan of Bloomberg's soda legislation." Of course, Stewart's clarification seems to have only created more confusion as to his past Pizza-eating experience. As USA Today asks in their feature piece on the Stewart pizza eating incident, "So does that mean he's eaten a whole pie before? Or that he's just never had New York pizza?" For the love of God, Stewart needs to stop toying with the news media and clarify in detail the true nature of his past interaction with pizza. Is his first-timer status with pizza specifically limited to the New York region? Has he engaged in pizza eating in other cities? Has he taken a bite of pizza but just never finished a slice? Has he smelled a pizza before but never fully inhaled the fumes? These are all questions that the media needs to know the answer to in order to provide readers with the in-depth coverage that they expect. The tweet has also raised serious questions over what other types of food that Patrick Stewart has never tried before. Fox News wonders if Stewart has ever eaten a hotdog. How long before someone starts a White House petition demanding new legislation requiring Patrick Stewart to fully disclose exactly what foods he has and has not eaten in the past? Of course, with Stewart's status as an Englishman, it's likely that President Barack Obama lacks the authority to enforce full food disclosure upon Stewart, so it's possible that Stewart's tweet could become an international crisis. Our own personal theory is that the whole photo is just a ruse and a set-up for the after the credits scene in X-Men: Days Of Future Past. After a hard-fought battle with the Sentinels, Professor X remarks, "Have you ever tried pizza? There's a pizza joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I want to try it."  Then, we get Wolverine slicing and dicing pizza with his claws for Professor X and his fellow X-Men.

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