The Most Vicious 'Venom' Reviews
10/04/2018 09:04 pm EDT
"Laughable & Septic"
The Playlist's Rodrigo Perez pulled no punches, describing director Ruben Fleischer's work as "hacky incoherence" before doubling down on just how much the film, well, stinks.
It's difficult to discuss "Venom" without some mention of the infamous feculence line shown in the trailer—the symbiotic monster warning a naughty thug about leaving his dismembered body flailing about like "a turd in the wind." It's a laughable line, but maybe there's something to these recurring themes; after all, endoparasites are often found in feces, and "Venom" stinks like a horrid flush that just won't go down the drain.
"Were the special effects team on cocaine?"
Irish YouTuber Dara Tah kept things short, sweet and to the point...and had nothing kind to say about the film's special effects.
"Leave this character in space"
While the wacky eyes in the tweet's gif are hilarious Jack Dignan's review is brutal, especially when it comes to the disconnect between Hardy's acting and how the movie turned out.
"I just wish we got to see whatever movie Tom Hardy thought he was acting in."
Ouch.
No long review needed
"...hobbled, even sanitized"
There's a lot to take away from the LA Times' review, but one line in particular about the lack of energy form the actors was a particularly harsh takeaway.
"The actors, for their part, hit their marks and earn their paychecks with the utmost professionalism, if little conviction or energy."
"Need an antidote"
Film blogger Chris Rogers addressed not just Venom as a movie but as the kick off to an entire film universe and was particularly brutal, calling the film "poison".
"As a disposable piece of popcorn fodder, it's merely hopeless. As the basis of a major cinematic enterprise, it's poison."
"Mixed messages"
io9's review overall wasn't terribly brutal, but they did take on something most of the other critics did not: the marketing.
If anything, Venom's greatest weakness is actually the way Sony's marketed the movie. Like Hardy's accent, it's seemed as if the studio hasn't been quite sure just what kind of tone it wants to strike with its advertisements, which send mixed messages about what kind of movie really Venom is. It's not nearly as dark and bloody or brooding of a film as Sony could have made. Rather, it's a loud, kind of silly action/buddy cop movie that just wants you to kick back with a bucket of popcorn and have a good time while a space monster licks his chops at you.
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