These Avengers Themed Razor Blades Are Too Good To Be True

04/02/2015 01:36 pm EDT

This might be the coolest possible thing to ever not be really possible since Mad Max Power Wheels. I hate you, April Fools Day.

Gillette got us all excited when they announced their Avengers line-up of shaving tools. First, there's the Repulsor 1 with Exoblade. It's "arc reactor technology" creates a constant energy to "obliterate" facial hairs. Then, there's the Gillette XL Gamma. It uses "Stress triggered sensors" to eliminate hairs as it "gets angry with missed hairs," growing up to 700x it's size to give you a clean shave.

It doesn't even come close to stopping there. The Captain America themed "Gillette Ultra Strike," shoots out a "rare vibranium shield," to cut hairs, "not once, not twice, but up to 87 times." The coolest looking design of them all comes based on Thor - the Gillete Thunder. Thunder scorches hairs to the follicle with "micro-lightning," and the best part? You don't have to worry about razor sharing because your friends are not worthy of the blade.

Thanks to Gillette and Stark Industries, you can imagine what it would be like to shave with the power of Earth's Mightiest Heroes. Personally, I would buy razors with the designs in the video below even if they didn't have super shaving powers.

hits theaters May 1, 2015.

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