The team behind the Honest Game Trailers YouTube channel is at it again, this time with a new video that talks about Microsoft’s line of consoles – and its process of giving them silly names. You can see the video above, but here are some highlights that you can expect from it.
“From Microsoft, the company that brought you the Kinect, Bing, and a controller the size of a child’s skull, comes the deuce-swilling fratboy of the current generation console market – Xbox One,” the narrator reads. “Dive head first into the trenches of the dumbest conflict of the 21st century – the console wars. And prepare to put your life in service to father Gates, ignore the fact that most games are multi-platform now, and furiously justify your purchase with the unbreakable will of brand loyalty.
“Because the most important part of owning a video game platform isn’t enjoying it, but in making people who don’t have it feel inferior. Suck it, Sony ponies!”
Then they get into naming console, or “the worst naming convention since Nintendo named a console after piss, as Microsoft starts strong with the Xbox, a giant box with an X on it. Then, goes off the rails with the 360, by strapping a 360 on the end for no reason; followed by the third Xbox, which they call an Xbox One, making it impossible to talk about the actual first Xbox. Then, the even more confusing Xbox One S and the Xbox One X, the two letters in the alphabet that sound the most similar.”
“At this point, the only way to make it dumber would be to name their next console PlayStation 5.”
The video then talks about features that aren’t really used with the system, with most consumers instead preferring to play something with Halo on it. “At least the thing doesn’t self destruct anymore,” the narrator explains, talking about that Red Ring of Death issue with the 360.
Enjoy the video above, and maybe feel better about owning it – or the PlayStation 4.
Also, word of warning – close up on Marcus Fenix’s groin in the video. Yep.