Polluted Oceans And Closed Beaches – Slud-Jak grimed up the ocean water and caused undersea creatures to attack swimmers, forcing beaches to be closed. It was only the whale of a taste of Twinkies that got Slud-Jak to the bargaining table to negotiate. Without Twinkies, Slud-Jak will surely grime up the oceans again, brining an end to beach going fun for millions.
Mummy Attacks – Yes, Twinkies were the only thing keeping the mummies pre-occupied. Once the Twinkies run out, we can look forward to a return of mummies attacking random people.
Alien Invasion – Do you know how many alien invasions have been thwarted by the delicious taste of Twinkies? Too many to count, as virtually every superhero from Superman to Captain Marvel has used Twinkies at some point to put and end to an alien attack. Without Twinkies, it’s only a matter of time before earth is overrun with aliens.
Our Children’s Minds Controlled – Aunt Minerva, leading lady of the underworld, has a mind control device that can control the minds of children. When Aunt Minerva unleashed her diabolical plan, she attempted to brainwash children to believe that they didn’t like Twinkies. Fortunately, kids liked Twinkies too much to be fooled. But with no more Twinkies, nothing will be able to stop Aunt Minerva from taking over the minds of all earth’s children.
The Sun Will Be Extinguished – Only by doing something nice and giving Twinkies to Professor Sneer was Captain Marvel able to stop him from using his sun killer to extinguish our sun. As Captain Marvel put it, “The Sun is still in business and so are Hostess Twinkies Cakes.” Now with Hostess out of business, the same will likely hold true for out sun.
For more hilarious Hostess ads, be sure to check out TomHeroes.com, which has a collection of over 200 different ads.