Far Cry 5 Side Mission Testy Festy is the Weirdest Thing You'll Play This Month

Weirdness is Far Cry games is well-documented. Whether it's space aliens taking babies in Far Cry 3 or every Urki scene in Far Cry Primal or the entirety of Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, Ubisoft isn't afraid to get weird. However, the newest game in the series, Far Cry 5, may be a little too weird.

Two words. Testy Festy. Let me say that one more time. Testy. Festy. That's right, in Far Cry 5 there is a side mission that involves a Testicle Festival, and it is as weird as it sounds.

-- Spoilers for Far Cry 5 Testicle Festival Ahead --

Being a side mission, Testy Festy is missable, which is a tragedy, because it's side-mission of the year material, especially if you appreciate nature at work.

In the mission you're tasked with helping a town prepare for “Testicle Festival,” an annual tradition in Hope County, Montana that is interestingly based off a real tradition that takes place in actual Montana. And how do you prepare for this tradition? By hunting down a variety of juicy new testicles, of course.

The mission features poorly animated vegetable chopping, shooting birds out the sky, watching cows hump each other as cows have the right to do, then murdering them to steal their balls off their dead corpses. Which sounds absolutely terrifying and horrible now that I type it out, and not as funny. But at the end of the day, you're doing it all for the Testy Festy (and I'm right back in).

You can check out nine minutes of footage of the quest below, and see the madness for yourself (courtesy of GameSpot):

What would be interesting here is some dynamic quest structure. Personally, I like cows. And I don't like taking their balls away from them. I mean, the Testicle Festival sounds fun and all, but I can live without. Coachella is basically the same experience anyway. But it looks like Ubisoft gives you no choice if you want to complete the side-quest.

Far Cry 5 is poised to release this Tuesday on March 27th. Upon release, it will be available for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC, starting at $59.99 USD.


In other recent and related news, today, Ubisoft released a brand-new patriotic trailer to celebrate the game's imminent release. It's not as weird as Testy Festy, but it has its fair share of insanity.

If you want to read more about side-missions in Far Cry 5, be sure to peep our previous post that provides just that.