We're not going to get into why this is an important or possibly completely unimportant detail of WandaVision as Wanda Maximoff and The Vision are starting a family in the upcoming Disney+ series. But, we can't not talk about this: Paul Bettany confirmed Vision has a purple penis and it can change its density. This means Vision went from all of us thinking he just had a USB stick to upload his information to being able to make that thing weigh a metric ton. Vision changing his density is something pulled straight from the comics, like the moment he was able to stop Quicksilver by putting his hand on Quicksilver's wrist and making his hand weigh a ton. But, now we're left wondering how Wanda survives.
Rightfully so, Marvel stans are losing their collective sh-t over over this massive development. "He's purple," Bettany told MTV's Josh Horowitz on the host's Stir Crazy series. "Vision can change his density, so there's that."
We're not even going to bring up the questions this presents about Mr. Fantastic.
Naturally, chaos has ensued. Everyone is picking up this story, whether it's geek media or sports outlets that dabble in getting big traffic to their websites. The Vision has a purple penis that can change its density is the headline that would probably get just as much traffic from entertainment media whether we were in this awful content and news drought or not. Fact is, we're here, the egg plant emoji is never going to be the same.
Marvel stans on Twitter are already one of a kind in their discussions about characters, let alone when it delves into this genre of character discussions. Below, some of the reactions have been rounded up, but be warned: it might ruin the color purple for you.
The Robot Jokes
nah he used airdrop to get wanda pregnant— laila ☂︎ SM3 ERA (@falconsnat) November 18, 2020
We haven't reached the age in our world where Ultron takes over and we all live in the Matrix while robots rule the world, so we're not sure how robots will reproduce. They'll probably just... build new robots. But, that hasn't stopped the theories. Laila with the legendary response to Vision's big reveal: "nah he used airdrop to get Wanda pregnant."
That's how he got Wanda pregnant pic.twitter.com/bchDK41tn8— Pierre / Peter 🏳️🌈 (@_parkercurse) November 18, 2020
Of course, given how us humans are with technology, the 50/50 shot of plugging a USB stick into the USB port the right way the first time goes our way on the first try 0% of the time. Gotta flip that thing over.prevnext
Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed
Reports about Vision having a purple 🍆 is about as 2020 as it gets 🤦♂️ pic.twitter.com/WzCtVPLq1F— Geek Vibes Nation (@GeekVibesNation) November 18, 2020
Our friends at Geek Vibes Nation make a good point: nothing in 2020 should surprise us. Honestly, if 2020 wasn't so 2020, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation because there would be plenty of other movie or TV topics to discuss and celebrate. But movie theaters are closed and nothing is coming out, except for Vision's..........prevnext
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa
Wanda when vision pulls out the purple penis that changes density pic.twitter.com/ObPVNoG4BA— depressed rat (@chickenswingss) November 18, 2020
Slow your roll there, big fella.prevnext
mcu stans: we want content
paul bettany: vision penis is purple and can change density— or ❀ (@spideybrie) November 18, 2020
The MCU is having its first year without content in a decade, so MCU fans have been thirsty for content. But, this is bringing the term "thirsty" back to its... early days of slang.
mcu stans: when is marvel going to give us some news
marvel: fine... um.... vision has purple penis— joanne (@hiddlestomas) November 18, 2020
To be fair, Marvel didn't say this. Marvel has said pretty much nothing aside from changing release dates in the past 10 months. Paul Bettany said this when prompted with such a question.prevnext
Well, thanks to ComicBook.com's Charlie Ridgely, you're never looking at Grimace the same.prevnext
Wait, What Color?
Listen I like the MCU for bringing Vision to a larger audience, but I will never forgive it for making people think Vision is purple???? He’s clearly red https://t.co/soMXlzvoYP— Conor (@NptConor) November 18, 2020
Conor is a true fan who knew The Vision from comics before he debuted in movies with Avengers: Age of Ultron. So, Conor just wants to know why Vision's private parts are a different color from the rest of him... when green and red were right there. The fan art that's going to come out of this will surely be wild.prev