Glass Onion Fans Are Freaking Out Over Dave Bautista's Head
If only Avatar 2 hadn't taken up all the IMAX screens!
prevnextI want to go to an IMAX, put on 3D glasses, and watch an hour of slow panning macro shots of the top of Dave Bautista’s head. Really get in there, each of those weird skull wrinkles emerging like a sprawling valley in an Attenborough documentary as the camera crests their ridges.
— Moloch Meldrum (@SlayerRules_420) December 28, 2022
Forget the peanut gallery -- this commentary comes from the produce section
prevnextDave Bautista’s head looks like a peach pit.
— C M Holbrook (@CrackedPickle) December 28, 2022
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K
prevnextfascinating things are happening on the top of bautista’s head pic.twitter.com/fnUcvNmxUn
— ddiiggss (@ddiiggss) December 28, 2022
Just...why?
prevnextWhy is the top of Dave Bautista's head so wrinkly?#GlassOnionKnivesOut
— Tanika – Down tudda Pynk (@YaGirlJiggy) December 28, 2022
The real Knives Out Mystery
prevnextIt is a movie that asks and bravely does not answer the question “what the fuck is the deal with Dave Bautista’s head?”
— dansplainer (@JawlessMonk) December 27, 2022
Here's an actual theory about it
prevnextThe head creases are a pro wrestling thing. The skin over the skull is very thin and bleeds easily so they’ll hit there with concealed razors to make bouts bloody. The wrestler Abdullah the Butcher’s were so deep he’d make a quarter disappear in them as a party trick. pic.twitter.com/xBNATGHqu1
— William 🌹 Kuechenberg (@scriptz4sale) December 27, 2022
I mean...priorities.
prevnextJust watched Glass Onion with my mom, whose main takeaway is Dave Bautista’s head
— rory (@aurora_f) December 26, 2022
The scientific explanation
prevnextHe 32.7% Shar-Pei trust me look it up. pic.twitter.com/2NPsw3qI0o
— Jake Blows (@Pr1ReaperZZ) December 26, 2022
And this is a whole different head conversation
prevI just realized watching glass onion that Dave Bautista isn't actually bald, he just shaves his head. I guess I'll take the representation but it's a little sad. we still have Jason Statham
— Cube Head ✈️🚀🏛️ (@A_Hammer_Boy) December 28, 2022