The Flash: New Year's Resolutions
It’s a New Year, which means it’s time for everyone to make their New Year’s resolutions. [...]
It's a New Year, which means it's time for everyone to make their New Year's resolutions. While we're all deciding to exercise more and eat better, we think some of the characters from some of our favorite TV shows could stand to make some resolutions of their own.
Today, we turn our attention to the residents of Central City. Here are our New Year's resolutions suggestions for the cast of The Flash.
Barry Allen – Consider hiring an image consultant
Look, Barry, the way you use your super speed to help people in Central City is great. With all these super-powered criminals running around, people need saving. We're just saying…the Streak? The Flash? Maybe you should look into hiring someone who could come up with a name for you that's not also a way of a describing an act that could net you an indecent exposure arrest.
Reverse-Flash – Work on your self-esteem
Okay, Mr….Thawne? Wells? Zolomon? Whatever you real name is, you can't go through your entire life defining yourself by your relationship with somebody else. Instead of a being the opposite of The Flash, maybe take some time to discover who you are completely apart from the Flash. Not to mention, if a "Flash" is something that can you charged with indecent exposure, I don't know even want to know what a "Reverse-Flash" is.
Firestorm – See a doctor
Ronnie, you have some medical issues you may want to attend to. I don't think a simple topical cream is going to fix this one. I know it used to be hard for a young person like yourself to afford healthcare, but it's a new day. Obamacare is real. You can get coverage, and thanks to the new law, insurance companies can't deny you for pre-existing conditions like chronic on-fireness. There's got to be specialists for things like that, right?
Harrison Wells – Watch Back to the Future Part II
Watch Part I for context, if you like, but you really pay attention to what Biff does in Part II. I don't know how you're getting newspapers from the future (also, seriously? The future still has newspapers?), but they must still have sports sections, right? You should probably take notes and maybe place a few bets.
Meta-humans of Central City – Unionize
You guys should probably come together as a group some home, a collective rogue element, if you will. Strong, cool-headed leadership should be valued, and I'm sure there's a qualified criminal among you. You can only get your butt handed to you by the Flash on weekly basis for so long before you should start considering collective bargaining.
The Flash returns to the CW on January 20.