Netflix Top Movie Diary: The Machine

The last edition of the Netflix Top Movie Diary explored the very rare occurrence of a Netflix original film losing the number one spot on the streamer's Top 10 list after just one day. It hardly ever happens. Well, this is about the other side of that coin; the movie that stole the top spot from Spy Kids: Armageddon. The film in question is none other than The Machine, the action-comedy starring comedian Bert Kreischer, dramatizing the iconic standup routine that made him a household name.

As crazy as it is for a movie like Spy Kids: Armageddon — an original Netflix film that offers nostalgia as part of a known franchise — to lose the top spot on Netflix after a single day, it actually makes a lot of sense when you add in the context of the film that took over. The Machine hit theaters earlier this year and barely made any buzz at the box office, earning just over $10 million on the backs of mostly mediocre reviews. It was also a total surprise addition to Netflix, having not been included on the September newsletter. But popular films on Netflix are often driven by star power, and that's exactly what put The Machine over the edge.

Bert Kreishcer isn't Dwayne Johnson or Ryan Reynolds, but he's an enormous name on Netflix. His last several specials have debuted exclusively on the streaming service and been very popular with standup comedy fans. He's a very known entity with Netflix subscribers. Putting his face on a poster for a film that many people probably didn't even realize came out in theaters earlier this year was an easy recipe for success on this particular streaming service.

The Machine (2023)

If you're at all familiar with Kreischer's comedy or podcasts, you know the story of The Machine. There's a good chance you've heard the story even if you're not a fan of Kreischer's because the video of him telling it during a standup routine is one of the biggest comedy clips of the last decade. Whether or not you end up watching the movie, you should at least devote a little time to watching Kreischer tell the story.

There's no telling how much truth there is to this story, but that's not the point. It's just a relentlessly entertaining tale. In college, Kreischer took a school trip to Russia and got involved with the mafia. Partying as hard as possible, he became a legend amongst the Russian gangsters, and his summer adventure culminated in him robbing an entire train alongside said gangsters. He also wound up robbing his entire class as a part of heist.

The movie The Machine tells that story, while also telling a new one about Kreischer reckoning with his college antics as a 50-year-old man. Jimmy Tatro plays the college-aged Bert while Kreischer plays a version of himself in the present day. In the film, Bert's past comes back to bite him as a woman looking to take over the Russian Mafia tracks Bert down after hearing his story, because he stole a family heirloom from her father on that train. Bert and his father — played by the one and only Mark Hamill — are taken to Russia and forced to track down the heirloom. Bert's frustrations with his dad mirror the issues he's having with his eldest daughter, and his adventure is as much about figuring out fatherhood as it is solving a mystery from the past.

Pass or Play?

Play, especially if you like Kreischer or more adult comedy in general. The Machine is definitely not for everyone, and it's far from the best film you'll see this year, but it's quite a lot of fun to sit with. As a good buddy of mine put it in his Letterboxd review, The Machine is a perfect late night Comedy Central movie. Not everything is great and you don't have to pay a ton of attention, but there are a lot of gags that will stick with you and there's an unexpected emotional core that should resonate with many. It helps that Kreischer, Tatro, and Hamill are all hilarious with that they're given.

The frustrating part about The Machine is that it's inconsistent. The first 20-30 minutes are easily its weakest. Some of the early action falls super flat. There are plenty of jokes that don't land. For every joke or gag that misses, however, there are a couple later in the movie that work. This is a film that evolves and gets better as it goes, and it's easy to see Kreischer getting more confident in the second and third acts.

The Machine is as its best when it dives headfirst into its darker impulses, which it does quite a lot of in the second half. There's one bit in particular that involves Kreischer punching a gangster in the throat that had me laughing so hard I needed to pause the movie. It's one of the better physical comedy bits I've seen in ages and I wish I could watch everyone watch that scene. The film also does a great job of deconstructing Kreischer's larger-than-life comedy persona, and how it affects his role as a dad. Those moments become more moving than you expect and elevate The Machine to heights I wasn't sure it would reach.

You could do better than The Machine, but you could also do a lot worse. If it seems at all interesting to you, I think you'll find a lot to enjoy.

What to Watch Next

If The Machine is your first experience with Bert Kreischer, his standup specials on Netflix are all worth your time. His newest special, Razzle Dazzle, came out earlier this year. For my money, though, 2018's Secret Time is his funniest work.

There aren't a lot of spectacular action-comedies on Netflix right now, but there is a movie that checks many of the same boxes as The Machine. This Is the End is one of the best comedies of the 2010s and it expertly wields its shock value from start to finish. The film stars Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride, and more celebrities as parodied versions of themselves during the apocalypse. There isn't a moment in This Is the End that will be what you expect. It honestly might be one of the funniest movies on Netflix right now.

Thanks for reading the Netflix Top Movie Diary! You can follow along and check out all of the column's previous entries here.