While comic books are rife with dysfunctional families that make dinner for one at a Panda Express a better Thanksgiving option, there are a few that would make for an unbeatable Turkey Day.
Look, everyone’s family has issues. They’re as unavoidable as tryptophan naps after a Thanksgiving meal. But if you look past the petty squabbles, and focus on what makes each family truly special, then you’re looking at a day where you can feast on more than just food. Below, we honor the families could host the best Thanksgiving in this world, or any other.
1) The Marvel Family
If you’re looking for zero stress, zero drama, and zero dysfunction, the Marvel family is your only choice. As the Leave It To Beaver’s of any comics universe, The Marvels (the classic version) are the idealized, happy-go-lucky-family that every other superhero wish they had. Just imagine a cheery Billy Batson greeting you at the front door while Freddy Freeman waits outside for a friendly bout of backyard football. You wouldn’t have to worry about any dietary restrictions, as the wizard Shazam could easily conjure up meal to your specific needs and appetite. And where else would be able to break bread with a talking, anthropomorphic tiger? Nowhere.
2) The Guardians of the Galaxy
They say friends are the family you choose. With that in mind, The Guardians of the Galaxy would host the ultimate Friends-Giving. The Guardians’ bond runs deeper than blood, or even species, making a welcoming environment that anyone could fit in. Skip the pains of holiday travel and have Star-Lord pick you up in his Star-Cruiser for an intergalactic feast amongst the stars. Sure, the meal may be interrupted by a Badoon dog fight or two, but think of it as a way to pace yourself between courses. And with a sentient tree on board, there’s sure to be plenty of vegetarian options.
3) The Fantastic Four Family
Look at that image, and try saying you don't want to be a part of that. While The Fantastic Four are sure to take the top spot on almost everyone’s Thanksgiving wish list, it’s for good reason. Underneath all the superpowers and advanced technology, Marvel’s first family is just that—a family. This is easily the closest you’d get to a real Thanksgiving in our reality. Johnny and Ben would provide just enough drama. Reed and Sue would prepare a traditional, yet delicious meal, and Sue and Franklin Richard would scurry about the Baxter building with hand-traced drawings of Turkeys. Our hearts are melting by just thinking about it. Plus, you wouldn’t have to pass a single item across the table—Reed would have that covered. If sentimentality is your style, you can't go wrong with The Fantastic Four.
4) The Batman Family
A thanksgiving dinner at Wayne Manor would be an absolute ****-show…that we wouldn’t be able to peel our eyes from. There’s no need to watch football when you have a front-row seat to the world’s best source of entertainment: Wayne family drama. Damian Wayne berating the way Tim Drake passes the salt? Check. Barbara Gordon and Dick Grayson awkwardly avoiding their romantic history by any means necessary? Yep. Bruce Wayne mutely observing it all before ducking out for patrol 10 minutes in? Count on it. But if juicy family conflict is too much to handle, just think about the food. We’re talking about a feast funded by a multi-billionaire here, no doubt prepared by master chef Alfred Pennyworth.
5) The New Gods Family
You’re spending Thanksgiving on New Genesis. It probably doesn’t get any better than that. The New Gods probably kill their own dinner, so your day would start with good old New Genesis-ian hunt with Orion and Big Barda. After lugging back home whatever monstrosity you just slaughtered, High-Father would set you up with some spiffy New Genesis formal wear with bold colors, quirky designs, and exaggerated collars. Then in lieu of watching any lame parades or football games, Mr. Miracle would give a live escape performance that would put any Thanksgiving special to shame. And imagine the spread of food the New Gods would have. Assuming it wouldn’t kill you, your Thanksgiving meal would be filled with foreign delicacies beyond this world—literally. Why settle for sweet potatoes when you can eat space potatoes? You wouldn’t. And since we’re dreaming, Jack Kirby would then descend from the heavens as the guest of honor and carve whatever passes for a Turkey on New Genesis.