Former WWE Superstar Big Cass appeared on Diamond Dallas Page's DDP Yoga YouTube page on Wednesday, where he opened up about his issues with depression and anxiety throughout his wrestling career.
Cass stared with his early days in WWE, discussing his success in NXT alongside Enzo Amore and his call-up to WWE's main roster in 2016.
"Being depressed is one thing, having depression on a daily basis is something different," Cass said. "Anyone that looks at them like they're weak or a crybaby or whatever, that person is ignorant. 'Why is this person upset? He has money and everything he dreamed of.' That don't mean f—-all when you're not well [mentally]. It's hard to tell people about it because who knows what they are going to say. 'You're looking for attention. You have everything you ever wanted. You're just seeking more attention.' So, you don't tell anyone. You keep it to yourself.
"TV [tapings] were the worst for me because of anxiety," he continued. "It ramped up after [my debut]. I always had it, but I tried to hide it, which is the worst thing you can do. I had no medication, I had no one to talk to, I didn't seek him. I self-medicated with alcohol. I was so down that I was like, 'I wish that I wouldn't be alive today. I wish that I would not have woken up.' But I had to go to work."
Cass was released from the WWE in June 2018, and did not compete inside a wrestling ring again until December where he looked noticeably out of shape. A week later he suffered a seizure at a House of Hardcore event and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"I don't know how I'm alive today," Cass said. "The amount I was drinking, and the food I was putting into my body was ridiculous. No physical activity. Chain smoking cigarettes. When you're making mistakes like that, you gotta go. [WWE] had every right in the world to get rid of me. Going into the [House of Hardcore] show, I literally had not slept in two days. Don't remember walking through the curtain or going to the autograph table. [I] came to in the ambulance. I remember they told me I had a seizure. I took that as a sign from God. God spoke to me that day and was saying, 'If you wanna live this life, you're gonna end up dead.' I could have died that night. That's what I was told in the ER."
Since then Cass has gotten into noticeably better shape, and has realigned with Amore as a tag team on the independent scene. Now going by CazXL, he recently wrestled against Jon Moxley at a Northeast Wrestling event in New Jersey.