The Sesame Street Suicide Squad

Every city needs a protector, and the more naive its citizens the more protectors it needs.

That brings us to Sesame Street, an icon in children’s lives for so many years. While the daylight brings nothing but messages of hope and fun, seen as Elmo parades around the streets in his trike, the nighttime is a different story, and the street’s protectors present themselves in full force.

They’ll do the jobs no one else has the stones to do, and they’ll do it with glee. Meet the Sesame Street Suicide Squad.

Deadshot/Grover

Grover might not be your first pick for Deadshot, but the lovable muppet has a brash and confident side when he breaks into his Super Grover identity.

When there are missions that require a more violent approach, he breaks out his other identity, puts his mask on, and gets his hands dirty. Since he can’t sully the good Grover name, no one knows about this other side except for the rest of his underground group.

Katana/Teena

Teena is a young muppet that literally represents the Kawaii, the Japanese culture of cuteness. She loves flowers and Hello Kitty, and she’s upbeat and perky constantly, which allows her to float under the radar when the city is buzzing.

When it’s time to fight, though, she wields the soul taker with purpose and at times a barely controllable anger, and her yellow flowers double shurikens that will unfortunately spell the end of someone’s day. It’s always a bit disconcerting to see someone this cute speak to her sword so passionately, but the rest of the squad knows why she does it. If an enemy sees her do it, though, well, they don’t live very much longer.

Captain Boomerang/Pancho Contreras

Captain Boomerang is always rather humorous in his often pessimistic sarcasm, but he can be cantankerous at times. Immediately your thought would go to Oscar the Grouch, but Oscar’s too busy guarding his trash can.

That’s why Pancho Contreras fills the role of Boomerang, as he offers the sauciness of Oscar but likes to keep his schedule full, and you know, will actually leave his home. He’s a master of boomerangs merely because he was bored one day and decided to add the skill to his impressive repertoire, and oddly enough he also likes pink unicorns.

Harley Quinn/Zoe

Harley Quinn is crazy, sure, but she’s also quite lovable. On Sesame Street, that role is filled by the lovably quirky Zoe, who is just a stones throw away from taking a mallet to someone’s head.

Zoe is rather fun loving when the cameras are on, but when they’re off it’s time to have some fun, and Zoe grabs her trademark mallet and is ready to knock someone’s teeth loose. She shares a similar gymnastic background, and the team always marvels at the grace and fluidity of her brutality.

Killer Croc/Samson

Killer Croc can destroy just about anything with his bare hands, but the big lug doesn’t necessarily want to. The same can be said for Samson, who despite his massive strength and size doesn’t look to use his skills in a violent way unless the situation calls for it.

Thing is, if the situation does turn rocky, you better get out of the way. Granted, that’s if you’re threatening his teammates. If you happen to scuff his shoes, well, hope you prepared your will.

Rick Flag/Elmo

No matter how many powerhouse villains you have on a team, there has to be a leader. When it comes to Sesame Street, no one commands more respect than Elmo.

You might think Big Bird is a better fit for this role, but Big Bird’s problem is he does everything by the book. The Amanda Waller of the Street is Elmo, and his underhanded deals and shell corporations via his fish Goldie make him a perfect leader for this raucous team.

Enchantress/Abby Cadabby

Every team needs a magic user, and there isn’t one more beloved/feared than Abby Cadabby.

To be fair, she’s only feared because her magic can be a bit inconsistent sometimes, so while she might intend to send you to Illinois, she might very well send you to limbo instead. This has earned her a feared reputation, mostly because people think she means to be vicious, as opposed to it being an unfortunate accident.