Who Is Batman's True Best Man?
Batman and Catwoman’s nuptials were not meant to be in the pages of Batman #50, but now that [...]
The Joker
This jerk has forced his way into the conversation, so we'll address the matter: No way. The only criteria that The Joker meets is "familiar," and even that element has been significantly overstated. The Joker might claim to understand Batman, but his actions in every encounter prove that he's just projecting what he wants Batman to be onto the hero.
Grade: F
prevnextTim Drake or Jason Todd
It's worth addressing every major Robin in Batman's life, but these two are the clear bottom of the pack. Jason doesn't even try to exhibit many of the key criteria that make a great best man, while Tim just fails to live up to them. Neither are on great terms with Batman at the moment either, but Jason Todd at least won't feel hurt when he finds out he didn't get the job.
Grade: C
prevnextDamian Wayne
Damian gets a slight leg up on Jason and Tim, but only a slight one. He's much more consistently capable than the other two and his familial connection to Batman makes him a slightly better pick. However, Damian is really too much of a hot head and it is a bit odd to have your own son stand in as your best man. Damian will have to settle for ring bearer.
Grade: C
prevnextCommissioner Gordon
Gordon has been one of Batman's most reliable and steadfast allies throughout his entire career. It's hard to fault him on any of the key best man criteria, with the important exception of familiarity. That Gordon doesn't know Batman's true identity, even if it's for important reasons, excludes him from the role. Your best man isn't someone you should be keeping secrets from, especially your name.
Grade: B-
prevnextBarbara Gordon
Just because the role is still called "the best man" doesn't mean a woman can't fill it. Barbara is one of Batman's most reliable and longest-lasting allies, exceeding the careers of every Robin but one. However, she and Bruce don't possess quite the same levels of trust and familiarity as some of the final contestants for the role.
Grade: B
prevnextAlfred Pennyworth
Alfred is tough to beat on any of the key criteria under normal circumstances. He has been Batman's rock since before Batman even existed. No one knows Batman better than this man. Unfortunately, in a superhero wedding it is difficult for a civilian to remain cool-headed under attack by supervillains, much less help save the entire affair. Additionally, Alfred has his own role to play as the (surrogate) father of the groom.
Grade: B+
prevnextDick Grayson
Describing the essential traits of a best man, it's impossible to not think of Dick Grayson. He is one of the most loved characters in the DC superhero community, in addition to being a great leader and teammate. He only takes the smallest of knocks to elements like responsibility and cool-headedness as he continues to mature in his adult role as Nightwing, leaving only one better person for this role...
Grade: A-
prevnextSuperman
There is no one more responsible, cool-headed, friendly, or trustworthy in all of DC Comics than Superman, and over the years he has become one of Batman's dearest friends. If Batman is looking for a best man who can save his big day, then the best possible answer is unquestionably Superman. It's a good thing that Superman will be Batman's best man too, as it looks likely that Joker or someone else will try to crash the event. Seems like that Tom King fellow knows what he's doing on Batman after all.
Grade: A
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