Love is unpredictable. Sometimes you fall in love with someone you never could have imagined having feelings for. Sometimes people fall in love with old rivals; sometimes they fall in love with lost sweethearts; sometimes they fall in love with video games. One young lady in Florida has fallen in love with Tetris, and according to this insane Metro report (via MyNintendoNews), she plans to marry it. Warning: This video is actually borderline NSFW. If people hear it, they will wonder what the hell you're watching. We can't decide if this is real or not:
Follow me down the rabbit hole, folks; we're going deep. Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan is a 20-year-old Florida student who has an interesting romantic history. Her latest fling with Tetris ended up evolving into something much more serious. "It started when I would play this game called Smash Run and I would hear the Tetris theme and I thought it was nice," she told Metro. "Every time I heard it I would want to play Tetris. All I did was play this game and kept thinking I want to play Tetris."
She became obsessed, playing Tetris for hours on end, and her room is packed with Tetris-themed objects and tetrominoes. According to the report, she even sleeps with a Tetris cartridge and has what is described as a "physical relationship" with her Tetris stuff. We're not sure we want to know the details. Tetris, by the way, is definitely a 'he.'
"I think Tetris is so beautiful," Hassan says. "He is about perfection and he stimulates your mind. Physically I get that feeling that people in relationships get – that you know they are the right one." This isn't her first thing with an object, either. This relationship is blossoming after a recent breakup with a calculator.
Apparently many people enjoy "object sexuality," or objectophilia. Wikipedia describes it as "...a form of sexuality focused on particular inanimate objects. Those individuals with this expressed preference may feel strong feelings of attraction, love, and commitment to certain items or structures of their fixation."
There's your crazy story for the day. Now you have something juicy to bring up at the dinner table tonight. You're welcome.