'The Witcher' Tabletop Game Writer Offers Up Some Creepy, Yet Needed Sex Advice

When you think of the game series The Witcher, a lot of people think of the badass witcher Geralt [...]

When you think of the game series The Witcher, a lot of people think of the badass witcher Geralt of Rivia. Or, you could swing the other way and immediately zone in on the very awkward unicorn sex scene. Different strokes, you know? But the writer behind the tabletop version of the game aims to bring the best of both worlds into homes everywhere with his own pen and paper adaptation but it's not just an adventure he hopes to gift fans. Apparently, it's also sex advice.

Though it's no unicorn talk or that infamous bath tub, Cody Pondsmith did take a moment to talk to Polygon a bit about the dirty deets regarding the new game. "I wrote a whole section called 'Romance and How Not To Make It Weird,'" he told the site during GenCon. "It goes over things like, How do you run a romance with somebody and not have that bleed over? [and] how not to have people get uncomfortable about it."

TL&DR, just don't do it. Keep it in your heads, use your imagination. He even put the advice into the rulebook itself, stating:

"A really good first step to set up romance in a roleplaying game is to establish how good all of your players — and indeed you — are at separation. Often, very deep "character roleplayers" who really enjoy playing and getting really deep into their character have a hard time separating themselves from the character, and this can make romance uncomfortable. I once found myself running a romantic scene with a friend and realized halfway through that it felt a hell of a lot like they were flirting with me. Needless to say it made things a bit awkward. Good separation also means the players won't get as upset when things go wrong in a fictional relationship."

Separation is key. This isn't reality, it's reality based gaming. There is a difference. You don't have to make it weird to make it good. Paying attention to social cues and the players around you, it's important to be conscientious of everyone involved. It's all about respecting that comfort zone, he said.

"Most of the intimacy should happen off-screen," he added, "unless every single person in your party is okay with it. If people at your table aren't having fun, and especially if they're feeling uncomfortable, then you're failing to run a good game."

To read even more about what he had to say about his upcoming game that first went on sale during GenCon, you can check out the full interview right here.