Netflix Top Movie Diary: Reptile

I’ll be completely honest, when I started this column and decided to watch every single movie that takes over the daily Netflix Top 10 charts, I did not anticipate covering five different movies in the span of two weeks. I’ve followed that list on an almost daily basis for quite a while, and I cannot remember a time with this much turnover at the top. Movies usually get a few days at number one before something else takes over. A real hit will stay on top of the list for a couple weeks at a time. Just before this Top Movie Diary column began, the disastrous Woody the Woodpecker movie from 2018 spent an entire week as Netflix’s biggest film. Good or bad, these movies almost always get time to breathe.

I must have chosen a terrible time to try kick this adventure off because things have been a lot different these last two weeks. Maybe it’s the fact that awards season is almost upon us and a place like Netflix is unloading a ton of films in the lead-up to its potential Oscar contenders. Early fall is apparently the Great Netflix Dumping Ground, which is giving me quite a bit to cover. 

Watching and writing about movies is far from the worst way to spend one’s time, so I’m not going to complain. But I do wish something really great could come out on Netflix because this has been a run of remarkably average titles. Reptile, the latest film to hit number one on Netflix, isn’t a normal kind of average movie either. It’s one of those average movies that fails to stand out in a crowd, despite the fact that it believes it’s the most unique and interesting movie to come out all year. 

There are much, much worse movies than Reptile, but that doesn’t mean watching it is a very fun way to spend nearly two-and-a-half hours of your time.

Reptile (2023)

Reptile is the feature film debut from director Grant Singer, who co-wrote the film’s script with Benjamin Brewer and star/producer Benicio Del Toro. It’s a dark, slow-burn crime thriller that follows a New England detective, Tom Nichols (Del Toro), as he tries to solve the murder of a local real estate agent. He’s also very obsessed with trying to get his kitchen remodeled, which is a much bigger aspect of the film than you’d expect. 

As Nichols digs deeper into the case, he uncovers more potential suspects and more chilling secrets around every turn. A murder soon turns into a widespread corruption conspiracy that covers not only the real estate market, but also the very department he works for.

Justin Timberlake co-stars in the film as the victim’s boyfriend and boss, while Alicia Silverstone plays Tom’s wife, Judy. Reptile also features performances from Domenick Lombardozzi, Ato Essandoh, Michael Pitt, and Eric Bogosian.

Pass or Play?

It’s a well-made movie with a talented cast, but I’m going to suggest passing on Reptile. If you’re a sucker for dark crime thrillers then this is obviously something worth checking out. Outside of hardcore fans of the genre, however, there isn’t much in Reptile worth really investing in.

Reptile isn’t a bad movie by any means, it’s just not interesting in any meaningful ways. It tries to create an eerie, mysterious atmosphere by holding long shots on random objects around a house and giving characters a few quirky behaviors. There’s a lot of effort put into making Reptile feel captivating while never actually doing anything that captivates you.

We use the term “slow burn” a lot for films like this, as they allow you to spend extended time in their worlds to make the climax more impactful. Reptile is so caught up in the “slow” part that it never gets around to the burning. Every few minutes a new piece of the puzzle is brought to Nichols and he uncovers yet another layer of the conspiracy around him. It gets bogged down with so many separate elements and characters and twists that its ultimate resolution leaves you wanting. There’s also a very frustrating element of the killer’s identity and reveal that I’ll let you discover for yourself if you give the movie a go.

All that to say, Reptile is at least great to look at. Even if you’re bored you can get lost in some of Mike Gioulakis’ cinematography. And Benicio Del Toro is Acting with a capital A. He brings everything he’s got to the table and then some. I wish this performance could’ve been saved for a better movie, but I’m glad to watch him deliver at such a high level regardless.

What to Watch Instead

Again, Reptile isn’t a bad movie, so there is still some value to checking it out. But there are much better movies on Netflix right now that do a much better job at the same things Reptile is trying to do. Chief among them is Prisoners.

Reptile feels like a lesser knockoff of Prisoners a lot of the time, so much so that I kept thinking to myself, “What if I just came back to this later and watched Prisoners instead?” Prisoners is the film that took Dune’s Denis Villeneuve to new heights, making him a household name for film fans. It’s the best example of a perfect modern slow burn. The film is about two families whose daughters are abducted and the troubled detective tasked with trying to bring them home alive. Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal give some of the best performances of their careers, and I guarantee you will spend every one of the film’s 153 minutes on the edge of your seat.

Prisoners is one of the few films that had me short of breath by the time it was over. If you haven’t seen it, make time to change that as soon as you can.

Thanks for reading the Netflix Top Movie Diary! You can follow along and check out all of the column’s previous entries here.