Star Trek TNG Enterprise Bluetooth Speaker is Also a White Noise Sleep Machine

Every year on April Fools’ Day, ThinkGeek releases a bunch of clever product concepts that are designed to go viral and crush our dreams when we learn that they aren’t actually for sale. However, the secret purpose of this yearly ritual is to propose a bunch of outlandish ideas to see if they’re actually viable. One such product was the Star Trek White Noise Sleep Machine, which claimed to help lull you to sleep with ambient / engine sounds from several different Star Trek spacecraft. Well, ThinkGeek has finally made good on that product, albeit as a Bluetooth speaker in the form of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

The speaker is a highly detailed replica of the ship complete with LEDs and sound effects, and it is capable of connecting to your phone via Bluetooth to handle calls or play music. You can even fall asleep to the thrum of the Enterprise-D’s engines (the engine noise emulator plays for an hour before auto-shutoff). The basic features of the speaker are outlined in the video above, and the full list of features are listed below. When you’re ready to incorporate this wondrous product into your life, you can order it here for $79.99 with free shipping while supplies last.

Product Specifications:

• Star Trek TNG U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D Bluetooth® Speaker
• Officially-licensed Star Trek: The Next Generation merchandise
• A ThinkGeek exclusive
• With engine noise emulator, LEDs, and sound effects
• Connects to your phone or device wirelessly using Bluetooth® 4.1
• Auto-reconnects to last connected device
• LEDs in the engines, deflector dish, and saucer section (can be turned off)
• Sound effects included
• Engine hum
• Torpedo blast
• Warp acceleration
• “Incoming transmission”
• “One minute to auto destruct”
• Engine noise emulator plays for an hour before auto-shutoff
• Massive Audio speaker system
• Speaker: Single Full Range 45mm
• Includes stand modeled after combadge
• Wireless Range: 33 ft.
• Bluetooth and power LED indicators
• Batteries: Rechargeable 800MAh Lithium-ion
• One charge lasts 6-8 hours playing music at an average volume
• Recharges using DC 5V 1A source (micro-USB to USB charging cable included)
• Dimensions: 12″ long scaled replica, 12 1/2″ x 7″ tall x 9″ wide on display
• Weight: 1 lb.
• Includes Enterprise 1701-D, two-piece snap-together stand, and micro-USB to USB charging cable

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