You’re invited on a special adventure to the Kennedy Sex Tunnels as the special guest of President Keith David!
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If that sentence didn’t make sense to you, what the hell are you doing with your life and why aren’t you watching Rick and Morty? Sure, it’s a show for people with higher IQs-*explodes in a fire of pompous self-righteousness and replaced by a version from a less smarmy reality*
Unfortunately, the third season of Rick and Morty is now wrapped up. But what a wonderful episode it was.
It begins in the White House tunnels where a janitor is attacked by a monster.
We cut to Rick and Morty being interrupted in a game of Minecraft and are forced to aid the President in a clandestine meeting.
The two are both annoyed by the whole thing, and decide to set some boundaries. But after arguing over who likes lame sh*t the most, they decide to just blow the President off and go play more Minecraft. The Secret Service isn’t happy…
Bad Breakup
The President loses his cool and gives Rick and Morty a call. The two attempt to posture, with Rick and Morty saying they’re not the President’s personal Ghostbusters but they will continue saving the world.
The President contemplates a drone strike but decides to cut the duo off completely. He kicks out his cabinet and listens to saaaaaad songs in the dark to cope.
After making a South Park/Minecraft joke, Rick and Morty decide to check out a new miniature species in the Amazon jungle. But they’re cut out by the President who decides to take matters into his own hands.
It’s basically like a bad breakup.
The President challenges Morty’s pubes, and the youngster retorts by calling him the Commander in Queef. It’s real high-brow, high IQ stuff here.
The President takes a shrinking pill to meet the new species while Rick gets chased off by some pirates.
Is Beth A Clone
Beth and Summer are trying on clothes, with Summer commenting on how cool Beth is and how she seems like a “different person.”
Suffering an existential crisis, Beth wonders if she took Rick’s offer in the last episode and if she’s actually a cloned version of herself.
She calls Rick and attempts to get an answer, but he mentions something about clones becoming self-aware that makes the entire situation worse.
Meanwhile, the President gets beaten to the secret miniature society by Rick and Morty. He’s already banned them from returning to U.S. soil, but they undermine him by tricking his administration into making well-received policies that improve his approval rating.
The President doesn’t appreciate their antics because he is a petty man. Hmm, sounds familiar…
The Battle Of The White House
Rick and Morty ambush the President in his house, demanding a selfie for doing the Prez a solid.
The standoff gets intense with a few Secret Service agents getting murdered, and Rick straight up calls out crappy YouTube theories.
Beth’s existential crisis takes her to Jerry’s house where she attempts to sleep with him, but Jerry has his least pathetic moment in the series and tells her a story of their first date. The two kiss and reconnect, with Beth realizing she’s a changed woman.
The fight in the White House heats up with Rick meeting a man who may have more resources than he does. But Rick’s ingenuity keeps him on pace with the President and the battle ends up where the whole misunderstanding began; in the Kennedy Sex Tunnels.
After a cameo from the set of the moon landing, the battle spills to the White House lawn where Rick gets the President in a head lock. The President yields to a selfie, but Morty has ditched them.
Back To Basics
Beth and Jerry have taken their kids to cabin where Rick can’t find them, and Morty pleads for them to be left alone.
Rick, realizing he’s basically lost family due to his stubbornness and inability to love his daughter, gives up on his fight with the President and attempts to win them back.
But Beth is convinced she’s a clone, saying that it doesn’t matter if she is or not because she’s going to stay with Jerry and be a happy family. And killing her now that she’s selfaware would be just like killing her family.
“You’re not a clone,” Rick assures her, and admits that he’s no match for Jerry’s pathetic and basic ass. The family decides to return home, and Rick wipes the slate clean with the President by pretending to be Fly Fishing Rick, a new Rick from a parallel universe where he has a penchant for fly fishing. Because why not.
The series ends with Beth commenting how much the show will be like Season One now, so all you ungrateful fans better pipe down.
We finally get an appearance from Mr. Poopy Butthole, who now has a wife and baby. He calls out fans for wasting their lives waiting for the new season, but really what else were we going to do?
And with that, we’re left waiting for Season Four.
