They say stories are only as good as their villains, and in that vein, comic books have made sure to create a plethora of awesome villains to bounce their heroes off of. Of course, most villains are made to strike fear into the hearts of the audience to make the hero beating them all the more impactful. To that end, the best villains need intimidating, or at least fitting names. There’s Darkseid, Venom, Magneto, and too many more cool names to list. However, not every swing can be a home run. Some are strikes, and some are game-losing, career-ending strikes.
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Those are the types of names we’re focusing on here today. There are plenty of bad names for supervillains, but trust me, these are ten of the absolute worst you will ever read.
10) Doctor Bong
Now don’t get me wrong, I love Doctor Bong’s name. I crack up every time I see it, and I’m sure his writers do too, but you have to admit that no matter how funny his name is, it would really suck to have to refer to yourself as Doctor Bong. Alter-ego Lester Verde, Doctor Bong first appeared in Howard the Duck #15, and has been a recurring villain and ally over the years. He’s a master of genetic engineering, and chose his name based on the dictionary definition of bong, which is the dull sound from an old bell. He wears a bell-helmet which he can strike for various effects. Doctor Bong is a fantastic character who I will tolerate no disrespect towards, but yeah, any name that makes you stop fighting to laugh at does belong on this list.
9) Paste-Pot Pete
Speaking of laugh-out-loud pseudonyms, here we have Paste-Pot Pete. Triple P first debuted as a villain for the Human Torch in Strange Tales #104. His gimmick is his glue gun, which he would use to smother the Torch’s flames. Unfortunately, this is not a name that anyone can take seriously, even Silver Age comic book writers. He was quickly renamed to Trapster in later appearances, though in-universe Pete decided on the name change after Spider-Man fell over laughing during their first encounter. He changed his name out of shame and embarrassment, and if that’s not the sign of a bad name, I don’t know what is. I love alliteration as much as the next English major, but this is just not it.
8) The Wall
I know the guy is a walking, talking brick wall, but this name just feels creatively bankrupt. Joshua Waldemeyer made his only comic book appearance to date in Spidey Super Stories #8, causing havoc at a Mets game Spider-Man was attending, and killing the actual Morgan Freeman. Don’t worry, he revived himself and kicked both characters out of the game. Either way, the Wall is the epitome of lazing naming. I know it’s not like Spider-Man is the most creative name of all time, but come on, the Wall didn’t have any effort put into him at all. There are a thousand wall puns you could think of off the top of your head, and yet they went with none of them. For shame.
7) Egghead
He’s just insulting himself, right? Elihas Starr debuted in Tales to Astonish #38, where he used his unparalleled scientific genius to attempt to trap Ant-Man by having his own ants lead him into a strip of flypaper. To be fair, he did construct his own version of Ant-Man’s helmet to talk to ants, so he is genuinely super intelligent. And yet, what super genius would willingly call himself egghead? He didn’t choose the name for himself, being nicknamed it by the tabloids for both his intelligence and generally egg-shaped head, but he still chose to go along with it. I guess he could be trying to reclaim the insult as a show of strength, but that doesn’t feel right. This is literally just an old insult for nerds, so call me crazy for not being intimidated by someone who continuously refers to himself as Massive Nerd.
6) Armless Tiger Man
Armless Tiger Man, and I cannot stress this enough, has nothing to do with tigers. Armless is just a crude descriptor, and the tiger part is literally unrelated to anything about him. He has sharp teeth, I guess? I don’t know why I’m hung up on that part of his name, as if being tiger related would fix this atrocity of a name. It’s way too clunky and very much screams of the 1940s, when he was introduced. I’d expect to find Armless Tiger Man in some kind of old-timey circus way back in the day, not fighting superheroes. He made his appearance in Marvel Mystery Comics #26, which is thankfully one of his only ones.
5) Sportsmaster
Egghead is an insult, Armless Tiger Man is a mouthful, but Sportsmaster is just lame. I know that his gimmick is using sports paraphernalia to commit crimes, but he’s not a joke villain, he’s meant to be a threat. Sportsmaster feels more like something you’d jokingly call Micheal Jordan, not a supervillain name. Sports inherently make you think of games, so when you hear someone is the master of sports, you think they’re really good at baseball and hockey, not planning to rob banks. He practically exists as a discount Casey Jones, and his name is so much less cool than Casey’s. And then, to my shock, I learned that there are two completely unrelated characters who have used the moniker Sportsmaster. The original Lawrence Crock debuted in All-American Comics #85, and Victor Gover debuted in Manhunter #17. How people chose to use this unfortunately lame name.
4) Lady Stilt-Man
This one just confuses me. Stilt-Woman was and is still available, but every day she wakes up and chooses to go by Lady Stilt-Man. She premiered in Amazing Spider-Man #611, and unfortunately we do not have an origin story for her, so we do not know what events in her life drove Callie Ryan to go by Lady Stilt-Man, but we do know that she was apparently inspired by the original Stilt-Man, and made her own stilts to honor his legacy. On some level that explanation makes sense with her name, but I personally think Stilt-Woman would have been just fine, because the important part of Stilt-Man wasn’t the name, but the actual stilts. But hey, maybe it’s on me for expecting someone who chooses to commit crime with extendable and retractable metal legs to make rational decisions. Maybe she just likes the word lady.
3) Codpiece
I don’t think any words can explain why Codpiece is such a bad name nearly as well as the picture of him, but I’m going to try. Codpiece was introduced in Doom Patrol #70. His path to villainy started back in high school, when the girl he liked rejected him because he wasn’t big enough. She meant that he was too short, but Codpiece took it a different way and made the multi-weapon, capable of launching anything from rockets to retractable boxing gloves. Okay, even if we are willing to look past the fact that his main feature is the penis-shaped cannon on his pelvis, why on God’s green Earth would he make that his name? That’s not even a dick joke, it’s just a piece of equipment! He was fine overcompensating with a Mega Man launcher below his belt, but picking a penis-related name was too crass? It’s not even creative, it’s just stupid, being both way too much and not nearly enough to work.
2) Idiot
Yes, that’s the name that this character chose for himself. And no, he’s not a joke villain. Idiot was a serious, four part storyline for Batman across both of his main comic series. Still, this name feels vaguely offensive, and is at the very least out of touch. Caesar Lopez deputed in Batman #472, where Dr. Crosby thought it was a good idea to telepathically link four mentally unstable men with a hallucinogenic Amazonian plant called the Idiot Root. Every piece of information in that last sentence feels like a mistake, but it happened, and while the good doctor hoped this would allow the four men’s minds to heal, it actually combined their subconsciousnesses together into a malignant monster. Calling himself the Idiot, this new personality took over Lopez’s body as the others died, and set about growing stronger and more “real” by using his psychic powers to mentally unravel people and eat their brains. He’s a demonic, sadistic serial killer and cannibal, and they named him Idiot. Even ignoring the problematic nature of calling a mentally ill person an idiot like that, I am physically incapable of being scared of someone named the Idiot. Just imagine Batman going “Hey, Idiot.” It’s insane!
1) Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man
Sven Larson gets the award for most convoluted, tongue-twisting, overly accurate name of all time. Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man first debuted in Doom Patrol #89. His powers are actually really cool, as he is able to take the form and attributes of any animal, vegetable, and or mineral, and combine these aspects as he pleases. It’s a really awesome concept chopped full with creative uses that is completely ruined by his name. Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man is without a doubt the longest villain name in comic books, coming in at a whopping twenty-five letters and ten syllables. This is the least marketable thing I’ve ever heard, because who is both going to take this semi-seriously and continuously write all that every time he’s mentioned. Just imagine you’re in the streets while he’s on the attack, screaming that Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man is ripping buildings. You and people halfway down the block would be crushed before anyone got through his name. I know he premiered in the 1960s, but even this name is absolutely insane. No other name could ever be worse for a villain than Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man, period.
So there we have ten of the worst supervillain names in all of comic book history. There certainly are a lot of bad ones here, and plenty more where that came from. There are dozens more that just didn’t make the list, from Crazy Quilt, to Asbestos Lady, to the totally not-evil at all Sinestro, which is just the word sinister. Which villain do you believe has the worst name of all time? Let us know in the comments below!
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