7 Worst Superhero Identities, Ranked

Superman, Spider-Man, Invincible, some of the biggest names in all of comics, as simple as they are iconic. They’re names that are not only catchy but they sum up who the character is and often what they do. But not every superhero wins the proverbial jackpot when it comes to a great superhero identity. For every Invincible, there’s always a Rex Splode just around the corner. Whether it’s a corny name for the sake of it, or the character couldn’t think of anything else there are always terrible names among the heroes in comics.

A lot of these heroes may have had great intentions when they came up with their names. Many were names they briefly went by as they were teenagers. Much like the one email address we all have that was made a long time ago that you wish you could change, these names were just bad choices that stuck. Here are seven of the worst superhero identities. Prepare as we dive in to some terrible names.

7) Kid Arachnid

In theory Kid Arachnid isn’t a bad name for Miles Morales, but it also just kind of sucks. What started as a way to distinguish Peter and Miles from each other in their costumes just ended up as something that’s over complicated and a mouthful. It’s not even the kid part that’s bad, it’s arachnid. You could have just gone by Kid Spider-Man or Spider-Kid but no, Kid Arachnid was born. At least Richard didn’t use this name in Ultimate Spider-Man.

Thankfully this name didn’t last and is now mostly forgotten. Now both Peter and Miles are sharing the title of Spider-Man and it just works. It’s a win-win. Unlike most of the other entries, Miles actually got to drop the terrible name which is something not a lot of heroes with regrettable names can say.

6) Ghost-Spider

Speaking of characters stuck with their awful names we have Ghost-Spider. Same deal with Miles; they can’t call her Spider-Gwen in universe because it would give away part of her name. But Ghost-Spider? Who came up with that? The same person who came up with Kid Arachnid obviously. Before Gwen lived on Earth 616, she went by Spider-Woman yet she can’t share the name with Jessica Drew?

If they didn’t want two people sharing Spider-Woman for some reason, why didn’t they try to go with something a bit simple? I’d hope at some point in the future Gwen and Jessica Drew can work something out on using the Spider-Woman name together but that does us no good for now. At least her costume is cool.

5) Man-Thing

Based on the story of how this character came to be, I understand why he’s called Man-Thing and not Swamp Thing. That doesn’t mean Man-Thing gets a pass from a weird name choice.

Everything aside Man-Thing does have a name that evokes 50’s horror movie titles and it does work for the effect. It just seems like a missed opportunity to not have something with swamp, bog, or something else earthy and spooky in the title. Man-Thing is such a cool character; he deserves a suitably cool name to match.

4) Marvel Girl

Jean Grey was part of the original lineup of the X-Men. With members like Cyclops, Angel, and Iceman, those names perfectly reflect their abilities. But then there’s Jean as Marvel Girl. Marvel Girl doesn’t show off Jean’s talents of abilities in her name at all. Sure she was a marvelous girl when she was introduced but it doesn’t have the same power or ring to it as the other original members. At the same time Beast also had a weird choice due to looking human despite having big feet. Maybe the early X-Men just weren’t great with names.

While Beast’s name made more sense as the years went on, Jean’s did not and for the most part has largely been dropped. Often resulting in her just being referred to as Jean or if she’s Phoenix, she would go by that. At least she did get a much better name with Phoenix and still uses it today but Marvel Girl always stood out as the odd X-Men out of the original five.

3) Speedy

In no way is Speedy a bad name at all, but as a sidekick for Green Arrow and not the Flash? Then it becomes more than a little head scratching. It would have been one thing for Roy Harper to be the only one who used the name and could free it up for the Flash, but Mia taking it after Roy is very odd. Mia Dearden may be the most underrated sidekick of the Emerald Archer but she should come up with something a bit better for her sidekick name.

Of course, Speedy isn’t the only weird superhero identity in the Green Arrow family. There’s also Arrowette, which while it is more on theme, it’s just another odd choice. Maybe Mia lucked out with Speedy after all.

2) Ass-Kicker

Ass-Kicker from Kick-Ass almost made the top slot on this list. Being one of the high school friends of Dave Lizewski, Kick-Ass himself and seeing the rest of his friends become superheroes, Ass-Kicker was born. While it was a last ditch effort to join in on the fight with Kick-Ass and his league of super friends of sorts, Ass-Kicker is just a terrible name even if it’s played for laughs.

1) Drake

You’d think with the intelligence Tim Drake has been portrayed to have, he would have thought of a better identity than his own last name. Having been Robin, and later Red Robin, Tim continued the bird trend but landed on Drake? Tim is supposed to be the smartest out of all the Bat Family, Batman included, yet he does maybe the dumbest thing he’s ever done with this superhero identity.

Thankfully the reaction to Tim becoming “Drake” was pretty negative and the title was very quickly removed and is now mostly an in-universe joke/jab at Tim’s dispense. The response to this name has even led other fans to suggest the name Cardinal to keep in with the bird theme. If DC ever let’s Tim go out on his own again, I hope he has a better name than Drake.

What are some of the titles you all couldn’t stand for your favorite superheroes? Let us know down in the comments.