Elon Musk Is Selling Affordable Flamethrowers That Look Like Call of Duty Weapons

Take this year's Christmas list, and take your birthday list, and throw them both in the garbage. [...]

flamethrower cod

Take this year's Christmas list, and take your birthday list, and throw them both in the garbage. We know what you want this year, even if you don't, yet. You want a flamethrower; a real flamethrower; a compact flamethrower that you can hold in your hands like a freaking airsoft rifle. This thing looks like it was taken straight out of Advanced Warfare. The best part about it? It's super affordable! You can currently grab your own Boring Company Flamethrower for a very reasonable $500 (plus tax).

Look at that thing. See how badass it looks? This is 100% a novelty item that you're meant to show off to your friends. We're not even sure what you would do with this thing. Musk suggests that you roast nuts with it, and we're thinking that might be the only practical application. It's certainly not a home defense weapon. In fact, we're giving it about three days after shipping before someone burns their own home down with it.

And you guys know that's going to happen. The Boring Company has already sold tons of these flamethrowers. Musk has been tweeting out updates and sales milestones and, as of a few hours ago, they've sold over $4 million worth of flamethrowers. There are only 20 thousand of these flamethrowers being sold, and at this point we're sure that over half of them are gone. We're not kidding: if you plan on buying one of these flamethrowers, you better pre-orders yours now.

These things will start shipping out in the spring, according to the order page, and you can even buy a cute, overpriced fire extinguisher to go with it! We recommend that fire extinguisher. You guys are going to need it. Here are a few bullet points from the official site:

  • Fire extinguisher sold separately (for exorbitant amounts of money)

  • Taxes and shipping will be added at checkout

  • Additional customs fees may apply for international orders because of laws

  • International customers can receive a full refund if not happy with said fees

  • Before shipping, aspiring flamethrower aficionados will be sent a terms and conditions rhyme for review and acceptance

  • Starts shipping in spring

  • May not be used on Boring Company decorative lacquered hay bales or Boring Company dockside munitions warehouses

Will you be picking one of these bad boys up? If you plan on it, please let us know on Facebook or Twitter so we can watch a video of you playing with it.