Ant-Man and the Wasp Star Evangeline Lilly Opens Up About Her Rough Year

Ant-Man and the Wasp's Evangeline Lilly took a second to open up about her rough year on Instagram today. The Marvel actress decided to clue her fans in what has been going on with her over the past year. All of her words are so heartfelt and you can't help but feel for The Wasp actress while she's dealing with all of the inner turmoil. She explained the entire ordeal in her own words.

"Yesterday many of you said "brunette". Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn't want to share all of it with you because i didn't want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I've ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn't want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen."

"I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else's also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or...carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me."

View this post on Instagram

#fbf #flashbackfriday Yesterday many of you said “brunette”. Well, here she is, about a year ago today. I had such a rough year last year but I didn’t want to share all of it with you because i didn’t want to be a dark cloud in your world. All I’ve ever wanted to do was put joy in the world. To add sunshine. I didn’t want you to be having a perfectly good day and then have my post make you sad. But I struggle deeply with feeling that all I ever am is what I feel everyone else wants and needs me to be. I often feel alone and unseen. . I have always known I was strong. Strong enough, I believed, to hold all my pain and everyone else’s also. So I kept it all inside, kept it to myself, and made space in there to hold your pain, too. Publicly, I hid and made light of my deepest traumas and laughed in the face of my most profound pain. . Until, last year, I broke. Suddenly I was forced to face my weakness and my limitations, my trauma and fears. I was left with no choice but to accept that I am limited or...carry on down a road of perfectionist denial that would inevitably kill me. . I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it’s pointless to share the light when you don’t know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. . But I ask myself...would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? . 📷 taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras . #lightanddarkness

A post shared by Evangeline Lilly (@evangelinelillyofficial) on Mar 6, 2020 at 7:18am PST

"I am coming out of that deep place, slowly. As I start to breathe the fresh air, as I start to find my new, limited footing, I feel disconnected from you. I feel it's pointless to share the light when you don't know my darkness. I feel lost and apathetic about this space we share. But I ask myself...would you have wanted to come along in my darkness had I shared it? 📷 taken by my four-year-old son #whenbabieshavecameras #lightanddarkness"