Jessica Jones Is Giving Dating Advice on Twitter for Valentines Day

It’s Valentine’s Day and for many people that means flowers, chocolates, and a fancy date night all in a special celebration of love.

Jessica Jones is not one of those people and not only is the Marvel hero not here for all of that commercial affection business, she’s also handing out some life, relationship, and dating advice making sure to spread her anti-cupid, no holds barred, straight-shooting wisdom to anyone looking for something a little more realistic than an over-priced dozen of roses this Valentine’s Day. The official Jessica Jones Twitter account has been very active today, dispensing Jessica’s brand of romantic wisdom — and it’s pretty hilarious.

Using the #JJYourVDay hashtag, the account has been offering fans advice and general life suggestions all revolving around the day of love. After all, it’s not like Jessica is going to putting on something pink and going out on a date tonight. Not only is pink not really Jessica’s style, but the hard-drinking detective isn’t exactly in a relationship right now. If you recall, Jessica had a relationship with Luke Cage during Jessica Jones‘ first season, but Luke has since moved on and is now with Claire Temple, leaving Jessica to drown her feelings in whiskey and help others survive the day, too.

Here are some of Jessica Jones‘ best Valentine’s advice, a couple of straight-up zingers, and absolutely make sure you read through to see one of the finest examples of Valentine’s trolling, ever. Luke Cage might be bulletproof, but he’s going to need some ice for that burn.

How to be alone on Valentine’s Day

Being alone when everyone around you is going out and having fun can be rough. It can be even rougher when you’ve just broken up with your long-time girlfriend, but fortunately for one fan (who was looking for advice on Reddit, not Twitter) Jessica had a solution: whiskey. Hey, it works for her.

Zendaya has the right idea

Not everyone needs Jessica’s advice. Some people already Valentine’s day all figured out and Spider-Man: Homecoming’s Zendaya is one of those people. Jessica retweeted the actress’ love day sentiments and lifted a glass or bottle in agreement. Cheers, indeed.

Things got a little mushy

Some asked Jessica not for advice, but for a little self-esteem boost and the hero let herself get a little mushy, just for a moment. Hey, we’re all human.

Might want to ask someone else to be your Valentine.

The internet, specifically Twitter, is a place where people have had some success asking celebrities and the like for dates, to take their senior photos with them, and even to officiate weddings. One plucky fan thought perhaps they’d luck out and get Jessica to be their valentine. It didn’t go so well.

Forever Alone

Jessica didn’t just hand out advice and shoot down potential suitors, though. She also gave people much-needed reality checks, like this person who has some intereting ideas about who relationships work.

A Twitter bio only a mother could love

Of course, not everyone was down with Jessica’s assessment of some people’s dating prospects. Unfortunately for them, she had some accurate thoughts about their chances, too.

Nothing like a little trolling for Valentine’s Day

The best of Jessica’s Valentine’s Day Twitter fun, however, might just be her trolling of Luke Cage. On the official Luke Cage Twitter account, Luke marked the holiday with a sweet call out to Claire about Valentine’s Day essentialls. Jessica not only was having none of it, but didn’t let a prime opportunity to troll her fellow Defender in the process, not once, but twice.

Jessica Jones Season 2 will debut on Netflix on March 8.

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