SPOILERS For Star Wars Aftermath: Empire's End! Don't read until you've read the book unless you want to be spoiled! This is also ridiculous! Don't read unless you want to hopefully be amused!
Last week, it was spoiled early that yes, Jar Jar Binks appears in Star Wars Aftermath: Empire's End, the latest novel in the Star Wars universe. Taking place about 8 months after the events of Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (for most of it), the book dictates the final fall of the Empire, through very personal stories of those involved in the climactic Battle of Jakku. But novelist Chuck Wendig also penned brilliant "Interlude" chapters, which give snapshots of life around the galaxy, sometimes using famous characters from Star Wars history. Characters like Jar Jar Binks.
In the Jar Jar Interlude chapter, early in the book (about a fifth of the way through), we find out the comic relief from the prequels is now living as literal comic relief - he's a street-performing (and dwelling) clown in a city in Naboo, ostracized by his Gungan people and the humans of Naboo alike. He makes friends with a young orphan boy named Mapo, who is described as "one ear gone, half his face looking like the business end of a woodworking rasp. The scar tissue, like bad ground, runs up from his jaw, over the hole that used to be his ear, and to his scalp." It's actually an incredibly touching and beautifully sad chapter - one that shows how optimism and innocence can live on despite all the other awfulness in the world.
But yes, Jar Jar makes friends with a badly burned and deformed boy. And now we're just playing right into the hands of the most insane Star Wars fan theory ever: That Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord. Just for fun, here's how Empire's End can support it:
Jar Jar survived - with all his bumbling, with all his close affiliation to the Senate, the Jedi, and even the wife of Darth freaking Vader, Jar Jar somehow survived nearly 25 years of the Empire ruling over the galaxy. All the abuse, all the death, all the war, and Jar Jar Binks of all characters managed to survive all that time. Jar Jar also has an affinity for working with children, taking them under his wing. In fact, in this case, he explicitly offers to teach Mapo.
"My teachin yousa, pallo. Wesa maken the whole galaxy smilin, huh?"
Just read that line, but with a sinister tone... This works too well.
As for Mapo? Well that's the latest "your Snoke theory sucks," obviously. The deformed boy trains under Sith Lord Jar Jar (Darth Ridikulous perhaps?), eventually fulfilling his destiny as a Sith and killing him, and takes over the First Order, to "maken the whole galaxy smilin."
Okay, obviously we're being utterly silly here, but coupled with the Jar Jar Sith Lord theory that circulated Reddit a while back, it's just too fun not to think about. Guess we'll find out when Star Wars: The Last Jedi hits theaters in December!
Star Wars Aftermath: Empire's End, also known as "Darth Ridikulous and the Origin of Supreme Leader Snoke," is in stores now.
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