Star Wars Characters We Want on Our Fantasy Football Team

It’s opening weekend for the NFL season, and that means it’s also time for Fantasy Football to begin. With an incredible wide receiver corps from last year entering their second seasons, a renewed focus on running backs, and a ton of coaching shakeups on both the offensive and defensive side of the ball, it should be a very interesting season for Fantasy players. Draft positions for once-reliable stars fell, rookies moved into the top 20, and pre-season injuries made dynasty and keeper league owners weep (sorry about Jordy Nelson, honey).

So what does this have to do with the genre entertainment we typically cover here at ComicBook.com? Absolutely nothing, except that I love both these things.

If you’ve read my writing here or at StarWars.com, you know that I am a big fan of Star Wars. Thanks to a tweet by writer and Topps Digital (that addictive Star Wars trading card app) art director Neil Kleid, I got thinking: Who would I want on an all-Star Wars fantasy football team? It’s a form of Fantasy Fantasy Football, and here are my picks. I stuck to an ESPN standard scoring lineup here, for anyone wondering.

QB: Princess Leia

She is the signal caller. It doesn’t matter if you have a lightsaber, a force choke, a Falcon, or a freaking Star Destroyer, chances are you’re treating this lady with respect. She intimidates world and military leaders, she gives orders to Jedi, she seduces rogue scoundrels, and she slays 600 year old giant crime lords. All this, and she has the Force at her side, too. Yeah, this is who you want under center.

RB1: Anakin Skywalker

He’s brash, he’s powerful, and he wants nothing more than to be the hero. Those are all qualities of a star running back. The Force will guide him to the right lanes, but don’t think Anakin will always take them. Sometimes, he’ll want to lower his shoulder and just pound through defenses. There’s a darkness to this halfback, as well, a desire to hurt the opponent that should strike fear into linebackers’ hearts. But they better not let it show, because rumor has it he feeds on that fear, and it only makes him stronger.

RB2: Luke Skywalker

Unlike his star father, Luke didn’t have the pressure of being “the chosen one.” He did, however gain the nickname “A New Hope” early in his career thanks to his near-miraculous ability to strike at the tiniest weaknesses of the strongest defenses. The Force guides him instinctively, even if he can’t harness it quite as well as his father or even some of those on our fantasy bench. He has the ability to lead his team, but isn’t afraid to follow along when there are folks who know better. His innate chemistry with the QB is undeniable… and a little creepy sometimes.

RB/WR (Flex): Finn

One of the newbies on the team, Finn is a bit of a mystery. He’s brash and impulsive, from what we’ve seen so far, and makes his teammates trust him from their first meeting. He used to play for the other side, and as a former defender, knows how to attack the enemy in ways only someone with that experience could. Early scouting reports say this rookie isn’t scared of anyone, and always willing to jump right into the face of any defender.

WR1: Kylo Ren

Another rookie, Kylo Ren has the reach and height to out jump any defender. His near-religious fervor at capturing the glory days of the past means he’s one of the hardest working players on any field. Sure, he’s brash, and he’s been known to wear some odd-looking pieces on his uniform, but don’t be worried about that come draft time. This guy is going to get the ball at all costs, you can bet on it.

WR2: Chewbacca

The height alone makes Chewbacca a guy you want running routes. Double, triple team him, and it doesn’t matter – just throw it up high and he’ll probably come down with the ball. His history at QB in his early days (always a backup, but still) give him a unique sense of the game. Corners are terrified of him, too; there’s even a saying that’s rumored in defensive locker rooms all across the league: when playing Chewie, “Let the Wookiee win!”

TE: Captain Phasma

She has an imposing frame, standing taller than many defenders, and she’s a team captain (and fan favorite) despite being a rookie. When it comes to someone you want leading blocks and catching passes in the red zone, there’s nothing quite like this player’s custom shiny chrome helmet to target. When she lines up against an outside linebacker or a defensive end, she’s known to simply bark commands at them like, “Move, now.” And you know what? Terrified defenders often do.

D/ST: The Bounty Hunters

Boba Fett. Cad Bane. IG-88. Embo. Bossk. Aurra Sing. Asajj Ventress. Black Krrsantan. The Bounty Hunters bench is deep and full of extremely dangerous individuals who (at least claim to) “always get their man.” These guys will charge into battle, be it right at the line or when they have to chase down a wide receiver or wily halfback, and they attack with extreme prejudice. This is who you want on defense, and this group can outscore some of the highest-rated offensive players on any team.

K: Zeb Orrelios

C’mon, just look at those feet!

THE BENCH

RB: Ahsoka Tano

RB: Yoda

We stick with Jedi for Running Back. The ability to sense what’s coming is endlessly useful for a halfback. Ahsoka and Yoda’s quickness and their ability to duck through, under, and leap over defenders would make them potent backups for bye weeks or with good matchups.

WR: Sabine

WR: General Grievous

WR: Asajj Ventress

We have a jet pack, a guy with multiple arms (talk about a “hands” team – I’m sorry), and an ex-Sith with some of the most acrobatic uses of the Force ever (who plays both sides of the ball). Yeah, these are all folks you want out catching balls for you.

TE: Jek Porkins

He’s big, he’s loyal, he’s reliable. Until he’s not. Sounds like a backup fantasy tight end to me.

QB: Han Solo

He’s a literal gunslinger, and despite being a completely untrustworthy sleemo of a smuggler (at first), was made a General in the Rebel Alliance. This guy is a born leader of men, and you know he’ll be quick to the trigger whenever the situation calls for it.