J. K. Simmons is back as J. Jonah Jameson once again! The actor first played the role in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man films during the 2000s, and shocked fans by returning in this year’s Spider-Man: Far From Home. Well, Sony just launched TheDailyBugle.net, and Simmons’ Jameson is front and center. The new site has some great articles about that pesky menace, Spider-Man, and even includes some real-life news. The site features an article about the Area 51 raid, hilariously calling the event a failure. There’s no direct link on the website, so you have to click “More Articles” and then “Next” to get to it, but you can read the full blurb below:
“Just when you think the internet can do some good in this world and band together to find some aliens, they fail all over again! Over a million people planned to attend the much-hyped raid on Area 51, but after the dust has settled: initial reports say that only a few dozen showed up! What these failures don’t seem to realize is that the real aliens are these superhero clowns parading in our streets, acting like they do good for the common man. Remember all that alien tech and the deadly weapons that plagued the streets of this great city? That’s on the so-called heroes – and we don’t see them doing anything to clean it up. Next time you decide to do some good, internet, maybe try to make an impact in your own backyard!”
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The Storm Area 51 event was predicted to be a huge event, with thousands of people descending on the desert of Nevada in hopes to see some aliens. The focus shifted to become a celebration of weird culture, like a meme-inspired version of Burning Man complete with live music and all the Naruto running a person could handle. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a bit of a dud with only a few hundred people attending, and the events meant to entertain the attendees were cancelled due to low attendance.
Other articles on TheDailyBugle.net include “THE SEARCH FOR MORRIS BENCH!,” “SPIDER-MAN FIRES FIRST SHOT IN MOB WAR!,” and “NIGHT MONKEY: FOREIGN HERO OR YET ANOTHER MASKED MENACE?” You can check them all out here.
Spider-Man: Far From Home lands on Blu-ray, DVD and 4K Ultra HD on October 1st.
