Guardians of the Galaxy: Peter Quill’s Father May Be One of These People. But, No.

Given all of that I have done lengthy research into working out nine different choices that, admittedly, are fairly guaranteed to be wrong. So why make them, you ask? I’ll tell you why! Because…

QUICK! LOOK OVER THERE! I THINK I SAW MOON KNIGHT!

And now onto the choices:

With Marvel ramping up the cosmic side of things and Peter Quill having a big ego, it all falls into place. Yes there are some problems with working out how an entire planet came down to Earth, schtupped Quill’s mom and left with no one noticing the tidal effects and gravity disruptions. To them I say only that Ego is just that smooth.

He fits all the criteria, has a weak spot for Earth and, most importantly, because Sony has the Spider-Man rights we can do Beyonder on Earth and not have to relive the scene where Peter Parker teaches him how to use the bathroom. Score!

He gives off light, right? It’d be a nice tie in to Thor and hey! Look at that! You can mispronounce his name as Suitor and get an Abbott and Costello run out of it. Please ignore the small problem of Quill’s mother not being reduced to ash.

Now go with me a second, I can prove this one. When Jones and Mar-Vell change places there is a flash of light. He’s kind of an A-Hole (Ask Banner). He sings like an angel, and would tie in to the music theme. Also since he has the Destiny Force inside him he could easily read as something much older and not human.

The name says it all. *POP*

Imagine the response when Marvel reveals this and goes “We have ROM back!” Star Lord meet Space Knight. I’ve never seen Rom all outside of his cyborg suit, before he was turned into a cyborg either. He could very well fit the bill.

I am bound by comic law to toss him in as a contender. It would almost kind of work, if you squint. And have trouble seeing. Let’s move on to another real viable option….

I know, you’re thinking he doesn’t fit all the categories, but hold on there and look at the facts. Angar can produce sounds so powerful they would cause neural disruptions, which would enable people to see him as a formless light being. He also wears white flowing robes, like an angel. Finally, while you might think “They’ve heard of Terrans!” I contend that they haven’t begun to conceive of super-powered hippies. No one expects it. Ever.

Nope. Makes no sense at all. They may not even be able to use him in the Marvel movies since Universal seems to have some kind of hold on the rights. So why suggest it? Because it lets me end this whole thing by shouting IMPERIOUS SEX!

Adam P. Knave is an Eisner and Harvey writer and editor who has written fiction (STRANGE ANGEL, STAYS CRUNCHY IN MILK), comics (AMELIA COLE, ARTFUL DAGGERS, ACTION CATS, and more) and columns for sites such as threeifbyspace , PopCultureShock and MamaPop. He can be found online at adampknave.com and you can follow him on twitter @adampknave