The Ultimate Grillmasters: Five Comic Book Characters You’d Want to Bring at a Barbecue

It’s Labor Day weekend in the United States, the national holiday of the summer. I’m sure many of our readers are taking advantage of the long weekend by firing up the grill and having one last summer cookout before fall officially arrives with its early evenings, packed superhero TV schedule and chilly nights. Of course, I’d expect most superheroes to celebrate Labor Day, which got me wondering….which superhero (or supervillain) is the ultimate grillmaster? Among the thousands of superheroes and supervillains that appear in comic books, which characters would I trust to cook the perfect steak or grill that hot dog just right?

After hours of careful research and a lengthy and thorough vetting process, I’ve determined the following five characters are worthy of wielding the grill tongs, wearing the “Kiss the Chef” apron and manning the grill at your neighborhood barbecue this weekend:

Heat Wave

  

He might not be the most trustworthy of cooks, but there’s no denying that Heat Wave is a master of fire in all forms. One of the Flash’s dastardly Rogues, Heat Wave has “cooked” just about everything imaginable, including houses, cars, and probably even a person or two. Armed with a flamethrower and the ability to generate flames from his body, Heat Wave would be the perfect cook for those who like their hot dogs burnt and their burgers well done. However, if you invite Heat Wave to your barbecue, keep an eye on him. Since he is a pyromaniac, he’s might be content watching your food go up in flames instead of cooking it. 

Jarvis

  

If you’re looking for a more distinguished cookout, Edwin Jarvis is your man. Jarvis, the longtime butler for both Tony Stark and the Avengers, was also the Avengers’ cook for most of the team’s history. Jarvis wouldn’t let anything stop him from cooking the perfect burger. In fact, one Marvel comic (released to promote Marvel’s line of cooking items at Williams-Sonoma) showed that Jarvis could still cook the perfect hamburger even after the Frightful Four shrunk him down to the size of a salt shaker. No cooking emergency is too great for the Avenger’s butler to handle. After all, this is the man who can even sate the Hulk with his cooking.  

Superman

  

Faster than pre-cooking your food!  More powerful than even the biggest grill! Able to run to the store to pick up more ice in a single bound! Look! Over by the Grill! It’s Superman! The Man of Steel’s cookout abilities are probably as inspirational as his superheroics.  With heat vision, x-ray vision, microscopic vision, ice breath and superspeed, Superman could literally take care of every cookout responsibility in the blink of an eye.  However, there’s one major drawback to inviting Superman to your barbecue: he’s a vegetarian, so you better make sure your buy some black bean burger patties for him to eat.  

Greet

  

The Green Lantern Corps’ resident chef, Greet can make a meal for even the pickiest eaters. After all, Greet’s an expert at cooking dishes from hundreds of worlds to keep Oa’s cafeteria stocked. So even if your cookout guests are silicon based lifeforms who can only eat crystalized rock burgers from a moon of Dryad or bio-sentient mathematical equations, Greet will make sure they leave your cookout full and looking forward to your next party. Greet’s only flaw as a cook is that he hasn’t quite mastered the art of cooking Earth meals, so don’t expect any traditional barbecue dishes. 

Fire

  

With the ability to generate green flames at will, Fire is one of several pyrokinetic comic book characters who probably know how to run a grill. However, where the Justice League might have an edge on more popular fiery heroes like the Human Torch is that, as a native of Brazil, she may be familiar with the delicious churrasco style of barbecue. A popular dish in Brazil and other Latin American countries, churrasco uses only the best cuts of meat and is cooked on skewers over charcoal. In this humble carnivore’s opinion, churrasco is the ultimate grilling dish and if Fire knows how to make it, she’d be welcome at all my cookouts.