People weren’t expecting Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl to be a big hit back in 2003. A two-and-a-half-hour blockbuster budgeted movie based on a ride that lasts about 10 minutes? The guy most known at that point for his roles in Tim Burton movies doing what appears to be a Keith Richards impression? It seemed a stretch. But it paid off in spades, thanks to what ended up being a brilliant performance by Johnny Depp, a clear love for ghost stories, ambition in its worldbuilding, and a palpable sense of adventure. When Depp and director Gore Verbinski came back for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the grosses rose even further while the critical reception dropped (though they’ve since been appreciated for the entertaining epics they are).
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Then, the franchise continued on to even worse reviews, and while Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides did well financially, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales showed a franchise past its prime. Why did the franchise continue after the solid trilogy? For one, it was a reliable IP. Two, Disney’s attempts to craft a similarly successful IP went over like a led balloon. But, of those five attempts, are they all equally poor?
5) Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
The unnamed prince in the 2003 video game Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (the remake of which was recently cancelled) is supposed to be Persian, but the game received some flack back in the day for the character’s Western features. Even still, he was Persian. In the movie, Dastan, as he’s named, is a street urchin in Persia, so it’s not really known just what ethnicity he is. Either way, it really comes across a whitewashing, which gives the movie a certain stink.
This is also a movie that seems beneath Gyllenhaal. He certainly has an action star quality about him, but not in something so jovially silly. He was better in more cerebral action fare like Source Code, another movie released around this period of time. On the whole, Prince of Persia was an odd first choice to try and replicate Pirates‘ success. Granted, the ability to reverse time and the added element of having that done with sand that is running out are both things that are movie-worthy, but they’re the only truly interesting things going on here.
Stream Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time on Disney+.
4) Tomorrowland
Prince of Persia has one thing Tomorrowland does not, which is an entertainment factor. Tomorrowland is more of a slog, but it’s a slog that isn’t without its ambition.
In fact, Tomorrowland is the most ambitious movie on this list. However, its story is entirely forgettable, so the messages it tries to convey (and it does so frequently) get lost along with it. George Clooney was a good choice for a disgruntled inventor who wants the world to be better, but even he seems to often be aware the narrative isn’t as grabby as it should be. It’s not at all surprising audiences didn’t turn out in Summer 2015.
Stream Tomorrowland on Disney+.
3) The Lone Ranger
Thanks to a clunky framing device, The Lone Ranger often fails to keep up its momentum. That framing device is used in a clever manner once or twice, e.g. in its revelations of a turn of events (such as a bridge being laced with dynamite), but for the most part it makes an overlong movie even longer.
And The Lone Ranger is undoubtedly too long for how much actual story is here. All we really need to know is that Tonto’s tribe was killed by the villains when he was a kid, John Reid (the Lone Ranger) is avenging his brother, and the duo don’t get along. That’s not enough for two-and-a-half hours. The Pirates movies were criticized for being that long and they had twice the plot. Even still, if there’s a movie here that’s a bit on the over-hated side of things, it’s this one.
2) John Carter
John Carter was an attempt to recreate the success of the Pirates movies, but it’s far more similar to Star Wars. In fact, the Edgar Rice Burroughs novels upon which it’s based were an inspiration to George Lucas. And, as fortune would have it, seven months after this movie’s massive flopping, Disney went ahead and just bought Star Wars itself.
The irony is that John Carter, while based on source material that inspired a bigger, better saga, came out after that saga had been long-established on the screen. Thusly, it feels like a pale imitation, even if it does have a sense of fun about it and a charming and accessible tone. It’s a two and a half out of five-star movie, but there’s worse diversionary entertainment.
Stream John Carter on Disney+.
1) Jungle Cruise
The Lone Ranger may have had Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski, but it’s Jungle Cruise that comes closest to recapturing that magic found in the first three Pirates movies. Even still, it’s only about 60% as good as Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End.
As for why it feels the most similar, the movie is also based on a ride (and feels like it, unlike Tomorrowland), has a swashbuckling comedy-action direction, has its characters on a boat, and has a pair of villains, one distinctly human and one more ghostly. As for why the movie works, it’s oddly not really any of those things as much as the chemistry between Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt.
Stream Jungle Cruise on Disney+.
Which is your favorite of these attempts to replicate Pirates success? Leave a comment below and join the conversation now in the ComicBook Forum!
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