Comics

The 7 Weirdest “What If…?” Marvel Stories

The What If…? Comic series has produced some of the strangest stories in all of Marvel Comics.

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Across the infinite Marvel Multiverse, anything and everything is possible. With just the slightest changes, the stories of well-known characters can be drastically altered, for better or worse. It’s this concept that drives the popular Marvel series What If…?, an anthology series that has the all-seeing Watcher take the readers on a journey across the Multiverse. Every comic is a self-contained story that focuses on a specific universe. These stories can be emotional and exciting, but many are just absurd. Some tales reimagine the life trajectory of a single character, while others create an entirely new alternate history. Overall, the What If…? series is an experiment devised by the writers to explore just how far they can push the Marvel canon.

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Ever since its debut in 1977, the What If…? story lines have explored some of the strangest and most outlandish parallel Earths in the Marvel Multiverse.

7) What if Thanos Joined the Avengers?

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Thanos, who was once responsible for wiping out half of all life in the universe, should be the exact last person ever to join the Avengers. In this story, Thanos requests to join the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes in their crusade to defeat the alien race known as the Builders, who wanted to destroy the universe. Although Captain America was suspicious about the Mad Titan’s change of heart, shockingly, other members like Captain Marvel and Thor were very open to the villain joining their ranks. Unsurprisingly, it turned out that Thanos was using the Avengers to get to his son, Thane. Thanos wanted to kill Thane as part of another twisted plan to win Lady Death’s heart. Captain America tried to stop Thanos, but the Mad Titan overpowered him, killing him and Thane. Thanos then went to the other Avengers, reporting back that Captain America died heroically in battle. The Avengers, of course, believed the genocidal maniac’s obvious lie. Now wielding Captain America’s shield like a trophy, Thanos became the new leader of the Avengers.

6) What if Sgt. Fury Fought World War Two in Outer Space?

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Set in a universe where Leonardo da Vinci’s inventions expedited humanity’s technological advance by 1903, humanity had already become a space-faring civilization. By the 1940s, World War II was an intergalactic war between humanity and the evil lizard-like aliens known as the Betans. Humanity declared war on the Betans after the aliens bombarded Space Station Pearl. The hero Nick Fury and his fellow Howling Commandoes join the war effort, fighting aliens and robots. One of the members of the Howling Commandoes, Gabe Jones, shoots lasers with a high-tech trumpet. The story is an outlandish mixture of science fiction and war story tropes.

5) What if Dazzler Had Become the Herald of Galactus?

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A mutant singer with the power to generate glimmering light shows doesn’t sound like a person who would be a good candidate for a Herald of Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds. However, in this story, that’s precisely the case. In this universe, Alison Blaire, aka Dazzler, begged Galactus to spare Earth in exchange for her servitude as his new Herald. Galactus agreed and imbued the singer with the Power Cosmic. With this power, Alison had Galactus only consume planets devoid of life. This strategy paid off, as Galactus began to cherish life. However, when an alien armada gravely injured Alison, Galactus became enraged and slaughtered them all. Galactus released Alison from her servitude, and she returned home. However, there was a problem. It turned out that centuries had passed on Earth since Alison left, and the planet was now an apocalyptic wasteland. With nowhere else to go, Alison returned to Galactus’s side.

4) What if Aunt May Had Been Bitten by That Radioactive Spider?

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In the primary 616 universe, a radioactive spider bit Peter Parker, transforming the teenager into the Amazing Spider-Man. However, in this bizarre tale, Peter forgot his lunch at home, and his Aunt May travelled to his field trip at a laboratory. It’s here that May is bitten by the radioactive spider and given spider-like powers. Sewing herself a costume, May became the superhero Spider Ma’am! However, instead of having web-shooters, May uses sewing thread to swing around the city and sticky baking dough to ensnare criminals. What makes this story unique amongst What If…? comics is that it wouldn’t be the last time we see this bizarre spider-variant. Spider Ma’am has reappeared on several occasions in recent comics to join forces with other Spider People from across the Multiverse to fight evil. 

3) What if the Spider Had Been Bitten by a Radioactive Human?

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This wacky and cartoonish story follows the life of Webster Weaver. He was just a regular teenage spider until he was bitten by a scientist who was exposed to radiation. The bite gave Webster the strength of a human, and he donned a costume to become Man-Spider! Just like Peter Parker in the main Earth-616 continuity, Webster at first uses his powers to obtain fame and fortune. However, he decided to become a hero after his selfishness prevented him from stopping the mugger who killed his uncle, Bug Weaver. Webster has a laundry list of cartoonish supervillains, including the Green Gobbler, King-Pig, Marvin the Hunter, and Weevil McEvil. Webster’s deadliest enemy, however, is the talking bug-spray can Raze, the Bug-Spray Baron! With such a goofy art style and rogues’ gallery, Man-Spider seems like he would be good friends with Spider-Ham, another anthropomorphic Spider-variant from a cartoon universe.

2) What if the Original Marvel Bullpen Had Become the Fantastic Four?

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In 1977, the creators at Marvel Comics wrote an outlandish story where they would become Marvel’s First Family, the Fantastic Four. A mysterious package containing cosmic energy arrived at the Marvel Comics office, affecting everyone in the room. The Chief Editor, Stan Lee, became the elastic hero Mr. Fantastic; his secretary, Flo Steinberg, became Invisible Girl; Marvel’s vice-president, Sol Brodsky, transformed into the Human Torch; and artist Jack Kirby turned into the Thing. With their new powers and superhero identities, the Marvel bullpen battled the evil Skrulls, thwarting their plan to take over the world. The story is a wild and bizarre tale that shows the Marvel bullpen having fun experimenting with the creative freedom that the What If…? series gave them.

1) What if No One Was Watching the Watcher?

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In What If…? #34, every single page is a wacky and nonsensical self-contained story from across the Marvel Multiverse. The cover alone is insane as it depicts the omnipotent Watcher recreating the classic Marilyn Monroe scene from the 1955 film, The Seven Year Itch, where the wind blows her dress up. Things only get stranger from there. “What if Wolverine Hibernated?” depicts the vicious X-Man snoozing in a doghouse during the winter while holding a teddy bear. The short “What if You Were Spider-Man?” answers the age-old question of every fan. The answer is that all the supervillains would instantly murder you, duh. “What if the Punisher was a Stern, Yet Fatherly Type?!” shows the lethal antihero punishing villains like Electro, Doctor Doom, and even Galactus by grounding them and having them sit in a corner. These are just a fraction of the numerous bizarre comic strips featured in this surreal issue.