New Patents Detail Navy's Testing of "Spacetime Modification Weapon"

No it's not the plot of the latest sci-fi blockbuster (remember those?) it's apparently real life, [...]

No it's not the plot of the latest sci-fi blockbuster (remember those?) it's apparently real life, and the US Government is working on it. Yes, the United States Navy has apparently filed tons of outrageous patents according to The War Zone including what they call a "Spacetime Modification Weapon" which official documents note would be "a weapon that can make the Hydrogen bomb seem more like a firecracker, in comparison." That's uh, that's not a good thing if you ask us. We won't even pretend to understand what that means but it certainly reads like something out of a comic book.

This device and a series of other bizarre patents filed by the U.S. Navy are all apparently the brain child of Dr. Salvatore Cezar Pais, described by the outlet as "an enigmatic aerospace engineer" who works for the U.S. Navy in the Naval Air Warfare Center Aircraft Division (NAWCAD). In addition to his "Spacetime Modification Weapon," Dr. Pais has also filed several different "UFO patents," all reportedly filed due to "similar technologies" in development in China. It's a lot to digest but we should note that The War Zone posits many of these designs and ideas are simply "hypothetical applications of theoretical physics" and that no physicist they discussed the designs with thought they were feasible.

At the center of all of these ideas by the mad doctor is the self-named "Pais Effect," described as theoretical concept wherein "controlled motion of electrically charged matter (from solid to plasma) via accelerated spin and/or accelerated vibration under rapid (yet smooth) acceleration-deceleration-acceleration transients." As The War Zone notes this will apparently create "electromagnetic energy fields that can 'engineer the fabric of our reality at the most fundamental level" with potential applications toward "communications, energy production, and even weaponry." Just keep nodding like you understand, it's what we're doing.

All right let's be honest here, this "Spacetime Modification Weapon" and its potential applications (which they suggest will have commercial prospects and perhaps result in unlimited energy), sounds a lot like the device from Watchmen that created Doctor Manhattan. This begs the question, is Dr. Salvatore Cezar Pais experiencing time in the same fashion as Manhattan and existing at all points in time right now? Does he know that these weapons work because he's already tested them on himself? In any event, hopefully a weapon that "can make the Hydrogen bomb seem more like a firecracker, in comparison" is just a sentence we read and not something we'll ever have to truly understand because it's real.