Deadpool 2 has exceeded the bar set by Deadpool in almost every possible regard, including memorable and hilarious one-liners. From start to finish the movie delivers multiple laugh lines every minute, hardly giving audiences a single moment to catch their breath. With that many great bits of dialogue, it can be difficult to recall all of the funniest (and sometimes poignant) moments without a complete script in front of you.
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That’s why we’ve rounded up our favorite quotes from the new movie. We compiled a list of the top 5 lines from Deadpool, but a list of that size simply could not contain the awesomeness of this new installment, which is why we’ve included 15 of the best quotes from Deadpool 2. Enjoy!
WARNING: Spoilers (and curse words) are included in this article. Deadpool 2 is an R-rated film, and that is reflected in its dialogue, as are key moments from the movie itself.
On The F-Word
“Family was always an f-word for me.” – Deadpool
When Deadpool first mentions this line, it’s a funny tag in a monologue with much funnier moments. However, as the movie goes on this line becomes key in understanding who Deadpool is and what drives his quest in Deadpool 2. It’s a great line that unlocks the whole movie.
On The Opening Credits
“Produced by Did You Really Just Kill Her?
Presented by What The F*ck?” – Credits
It would be tough to top the opening credits of the first Deadpool, but Deadpool 2 pulls it off. Moments after Vanessa is shot and killed, these credits act as an audience surrogate and manage to provide some laughs when they are desperately needed.
On Portraits
“All of these elderly white men on the walls, I should have brought my rape whistle.” – Deadpool
Both movies have embraced current history and pop culture, and that shines through in a hilarious line that is clearly made in reference to the #MeToo movement. The walls of Xavier’s mansion are plastered with paintings of classic thinkers, including Karl Marx in a clever moment of subversion.
On Understatement
“Bozhe moi.” – Colossus
Without context this line doesn’t stand out, but it absolutely sings in the movie. Having learned that Deadpool masturbates in the soap dispenser, Colossus innocence is once again undermined as he stares at his hands in disbelief. It also plays to Colossus’ earliest comic book appearances, in which he would regularly utter this Russian statement meaning “my god.”
On The Competition
“It’s so dark. Are you sure you’re not from the DC universe?” – Deadpool
This funny line from the trailers still managed to deliver laughs when repeated again in theaters. Cable’s relentlessly dark worldview and violent attitude are made much more amusing based on this comparison to the DC films of Zack Snyder.
On Self-Pity
“Can you speak up? It’s hard to hear you with that pity dick in your mouth.” – Blind Al
Blind Al manages to keep Deadpool going no matter how many new rock bottoms he finds. Her coarse responses and limited sympathy force Deadpool to return to form, as shown with this hilarious burn in the midst of one of Deadpool’s darkest moments.
On Advertising
“I just saw the ad and thought it looked fun.” – Peter
Peter is a pure delight for the few minutes he receives on screen. This character is the ultimate dad figure in a movie that interrogates fatherhood. He has the bod, attitude, and lines to form the generic, but likable, dad next door as embodied by his interview for X-Force.
On Doing The Right Thing
“Doing the right thing is messy. You want to fight for what’s right, sometimes you have to fight dirty.” – Deadpool
The first Deadpool ended with Colossus putting forward a classic concept of heroism only to have it rejected. This line captures Deadpool’s approach to being a hero, one that is much more gray, but still manages to make the world a better place.
On Comic Book Covers
“It has always been a dream to see my face reflected in your helmet.” – Deadpool
This is a joke directed right at the most intense comic book fans in the audience. While we can’t actually see Deadpool’s head reflected in Juggernauts burnished helmet, this line is a clear call out to the classic cover of Amazing Spider-Man #230 (and many similar concepts to follow).
On Fashion
“It’s a god damn fanny pack and you know it, you sick son of a bitch.” – Weasel
Easily one of the funniest lines of Deadpool 2, this bit manages to do three things all at once. It takes down Cable’s overbearing masculinity, pokes fun at the eternally uncool fanny pack, and references the pouch-driven art of Rob Liefeld, co-creator of Cable and Deadpool. It’s a perfect one-liner.
On Music
“I guess dubstep never dies.” – Cable
This line builds on an ongoing gag about dubstep (and Cable’s hatred of it) and leads into one of the best needledrops in Deadpool 2. When you are already making meta jokes, it only makes sense to set up music within the dialogue, especially some sweet dubstep.
On Taking Sides
“I’m with the old, white guy on this one. That’s a twist.” – Domino
Zazie Beetz’s deadpan delivery of every joke made by Domino makes her the breakout star of Deadpool 2. This is one of her absolute finest moments, expressing exasperation with everyone in the cab while simultaneously poking fun of Cable in a perfect verbal jab.
On The Juggernaut
“‘Let’s F*ck Some Shit Up’ is my middle name.” – The Juggernaut
It’s tough to top the version of the Juggernaut from X-Men: The Last Stand, but Deadpool 2 manages to pull it off. He’s an over-the-top meathead who perfectly summarizes himself with this one line as he prepares for a brawl.
On Friendship
“Only best buddies execute pedophiles together.” – Deadpool
It’s tough to make the mass execution of fleeing attendants heartwarming or hilarious, but Deadpool 2 does both. Watching Deadpool and Cable team up is a joy, especially as they begin to respect one another just a little bit, and killing pedophiles makes the wanton slaughter difficult to reject.
On The F-Word, Part Two
“Family is not an F-word. There’s one out there for you. Just keep looking.” – Deadpool
No line better encapsulates Deadpool 2 than his seemingly final words for Russell. Deadpool rejects his perspective from the start of the film and passes his wisdom on to a young man who needs it. Deadpool 2 would be fine as a pure joke fest, but in this moment it becomes a family movie (albeit an atypical one).
