Today is the last day for United States citizens to file their taxes. As millions frantically add up receipts and hope they qualify for special tax deductions, now’s a good time to remember how hard certain superheroes have it. Sure, Spider-Man probably doesn’t need to worry about footing a large tax bill on account of his perpetual brokeness, but with dozens of wealthy business owners living double lives as superheroes, there’s probably a few who are sweating Tax Day as much as anyone. So take a break from calculating whether or not you owe the government more money and enjoy this list of superheroes with disgustingly complicated tax bills:
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Batman
The original playboy billionaire turned violent vigilante, Bruce Wayne tax bill is probably enough to fund the entire Gotham City Police Department’s annual budget. While he’s the majority stockholder in one business, Wayne Enterprises, that company is estimated by Forbes to have a $23 billion dollar net worth. Presuming that Wayne owns a minimum of half of the company’s stock, his shares alone are worth over $11 billion, which means that Wayne gets hundreds of millions of dollars in annual dividends, all of which is taxable income. Batman also owns a substantial real estate portfolio, much of which he uses as covert bases in Gotham City and abroad. In addition to his annual property tax bill, Wayne probably gets at least a little bit of rental income on the side.
Plus, it’s doubtful that Wayne is receiving any tax relief from his nighttime activities. If he’s writing off his various vehicles, gadgets and weaponry as research expenses conducted by Wayne Enterprise’s R&D department, he’s not saving his personal tax bill one bit. However, his charitable contributions to Gotham’s poor probably cut down on his taxes. And a clever accountant should be able to figure out how to write off his funding of the Justice League as some sort of tax deductible expense.
Iron Man
Unlike Batman, who’s trying to keep his superhero identity a secret, Iron Man’s identity is known to the public, which makes his tax strategy totally different from Batman. Although Stark is seeing plenty of income from Stark Industries, self-funding the Avengers has probably reduced his tax bill enormously. If Stark was smart, he “sold” Avengers Tower to the Avengers for an enormous loss, which could offset some of his tax bill for years. Another interesting thing about Tony Stark is just how much of his net worth is tied into his Iron Man suits. According to some estimates, a single Iron Man suit could cost nearly a billion dollars to produce, which means that he might have sunk a large amount of his liquidity into some very…volatile equipment. Of course, whenever Stark loses an Iron Man suit in battle, he can write off the value of that suit as a casualty tax deduction. Basically, don’t expect Tony Stark to pay a cent in taxes for a very, very long time.
The Wasp
Traditionally, Janet Van Dyne has had multiple sources of income, including several fashion start-up businesses, earnings from her late father’s company, and the occasional paying gig as a TV host. However, the Wasp has had a rough couple of years in comics, dying for a few years, getting kidnapped by her boyfriend/husband in the future Havok and not even appearing in Marvel’s relaunched continuity. I’m not sure exactly how one files their taxes after being dead and coming back to life, but I doubt it’s a fun process, especially if the government got a hold of some of her assets via estate tax.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe’s version of the Wasp is also facing a complicated tax bill. As a minority owner of Pym Technologies, Hope Van Dyne’s portfolio took a big hit when she helped implode the company’s headquarters into nothingness. The building might have been insured, but their insurance policy might have a loophole for buildings destroyed by the owner’s hand-trained thief/superhero. I’m not sure how that factors into tax calculations, but it can’t be easy.
Ozymandias
If anyone can find a way to make a plot that involves unleashing a massive psychic squid monster on New York City tax deductible, it’s Ozymandias. After retiring from superheroics, Adrian Veidt started his own company that made billions off of his patents and merchandise based off his likeness. However, Veidt’s self-made fortune was all a front to fund his true goal: world peace via the threat of alien invasion. Ozymandias concocted a scheme in which he created a massive alien squid monster, and teleported into the heart of New York. Although the monster died upon arrival, it psychically unleashed implanted memories of a hostile alien world on the city’s residents, killing many of them instantly, and giving the world a threat to unite against.
So how does one write off a successful plot to destroy New York? Probably by claiming that the alien squid monster was some sort of charitable donation. That sounds like a pretty skeevy thing to do, but Ozymandias probably considers that monster his lasting gift to the world and he’s just the sort of pragmatist to deduct his supervillain schemes as a tax deduction.
Mister Fantastic
Filing taxes can be hard when you’re busy recreating the Multiverse. As a member of the Fantastic Four, Mister Fantastic has traditionally earned plenty of income from merchandising rights and rental income from the Baxter Building. However, with the destruction of the Marvel Universe during the events of Secret Wars, Reed Richards found himself erased from memory by his arch-nemesis Doctor Doom, who had seized godlike powers from the Beyonders. After usurping Doom, Reed and his family took on the task of re-creating the entire Marvel multiverse by scratch. So now that they live outside of reality, does Reed and his family have to file taxes? I honestly have no idea. If they do, they’ll probably have some significant capital gains to pay, as Peter Parker recently bought the Baxter Building to serve as the headquarters for Parker Industries, his multinational conglomerate.
