We're officially a week into 2020, which means its time to look at your resolutions and goals for the coming year. If yours involve eating better, improving your finances, or just reading more comics, the most recent issue of Harley Quinn might be scarily up your alley. The issue, which was the 69th installment in Harley's Rebirth run, bypassed established DC characters for something else altogether -- a bizarre and hilarious take on fast food culture, including some parodies of McDonald's mascots that you need to see to believe. Spoilers for this month's issue of Harley Quinn #69 below! Only look if you want to know!
The issue opens with a man named The Hambezzler, who is being released from prison for the first time in decades after seemingly stealing the employee retirement fund for all employees at McGobbles. As he leaves prison, The Hambezzler is advised to visit Harley, who has experience in dealing with "failures and weirdos" like him.
Conveniently, The Hambezzler finds Harley in the middle of doing her taxes, and offers to help her with them in exchange for help getting back on his feet. We then meet the former members of The Hambezzler's crew -- a large purple man named Grumpus, a clown named Clown McCrown, and a pirate named Captain Playhab. They all begin to threaten Harley and the Hambezzler, until she convinces them to put aside their differences. While at a "neutral location" - a restaurant named Deleware Fried Chicken - Hambezzler explains that he was framed to go to jail by McGobbles' execs, Mitch and Murray. Clown McCrown and Grumpus offer their own horror stories involving Mitch and Murray (which involve torture and partying at a strip club, respectively) and realize that one more mascot was left unscathed in the scandal -- Councilman Cheeseburger, a man with a giant cheeseburger for a head. Harley and the other mascots visit him, and a fight ensues.
The group is then led to the "Hall of Food" to get revenge on Mitch and Murray, and they ultimately do just that. While it initially seems bizarre that Harley is a part of the fight, she acknowledges that she understands having someone control her entire world. The fight ultimately ends with Mitch being thrown into a vat of "Country Dew" soda, and getting a "rare skin disease" in the process, as the mascots celebrate their newfound revenge.
The issue is certainly a unique and unpredictable one, and one that will probably change the way you look at Ronald McDonald and Grimace going forward. But really, would we expect anything less from Harley Quinn?
Harley Quinn #69 is available in stores now. Issue #70 will be released on February 5th.