“Based on the book that came out four years before A Quiet Place, Netflix invites you to wonder: what if A Quiet Place was bad?”
The trailer lays into one of the film’s two timelines. While they consider one to be a “tense survival film set in the post-apocalypse” the other is just a mixture of The Happening and “the first act of every zombie movie.” Unfortunately, the latter is “where you’ll spend most of the run time.”
“Why couldn’t Netflix put the Bandersnatch tech in the this one?,” they joked.
They lay into Sandra Bullock’s character for being willing to do anything to protect her kids from physical harm, but is “pretty chill with emotional trauma.” To be fair, she does yell at them a lot.
“The film punished everyone who tries to be a good person,” they point out. “The jerks get off scot-free, so just like real life then. Gotcha.”
The trailer also pokes fun at the ambiguity of the film’s creatures. “They make you kill yourself… by you showing you stuff from your past… I think.”
“Either way, these monsters can’t or won’t go indoors even thought they can clearly move things. Or maybe they’re made of wind?”
They also called it “the second most talked about suicide forest video of 2018,” comparing it the the infamous Logan Paul video in which he filmed dead bodies. Yikes.
Screen Junkies ultimately called Bird Box “the mediocre film that gave us one good Sandra Bullock performance,” which was a little harsh considering she carried the movie. Although, they weren’t completely off when they said the “zillion memes” were “way more entertaining than the movie itself.” Those memes were pretty good!
The trailer couldn’t resist taking a jab at Netflix for cancelling Daredevil, saying the streaming services hates it when “someone blind does something exceptional.”
The best moment might be when they refer to Machine Gun Kelly as Pete Davidson. That's a comparison we're definitely going to be thinking about for a while. Comparing the intense river ending to the last level of Oregon Trail was also a gut-buster.
What did you think of the honest trailer for Bird Box? Too harsh or just harsh enough? Tell us in the comments.
Bird Box is currently streaming on Netflix.