Walmart Apologizes for Santa Using Cocaine Sweater

Everybody knows what Christmas time is all about: fun. Family. Cheer. Bright lights and decorations. Carols. Presents. Santa Claus. Snow. Blow. Powder. Booger sugar. Nose Candy. Perico. Yay-yo. Taylor Swift. Betty White. That Bolivian marching Powder. At least that's what Walmart Canada seemed to be celebrating, when it put a novelty Christmas sweater featuring Santa snorting cocaine onto store shelves. Naturally, there's been a bit of backlash from those who don't want to see cocaine and Christmas get bundled together, and now it seems that Walmart is buckling under the pressure, and pulling the cocaine Santa sweater off of shelves.

Here's the official statement Walmart Canada gave to Global News:

"These sweaters, sold by a third-party seller on Walmart.ca, do not represent Walmart’s values and have no place on our website. We have removed these products from our marketplace. We apologize for any unintended offence this may have caused."

Now that is some expert corporate speak. Walmart Canada manages to apologize for the incident, without ever actually taking blame for it. That's a pretty far cry form the product description that Walmart Canada originally posted:

"We all know how snow works. It’s white, powdery and the best snow comes straight from South America. That’s bad news for jolly old St. Nick, who lives far away in the North Pole. That’s why Santa really likes to savour the moment when he gets his hands on some quality, grade A, Colombian snow. He packs it in perfect lines on his coffee table and then takes a big whiff to smell the high quality aroma of the snow."

To be fair, the sweater wasn't made by Walmart, it was in fact produced by a company named FUN Wear, who seems to specialize in putting NSFW spins on family-friendly traditions. The company also produced sweaters that featured an upside-down snowman whose eyes and nose are made to look like genitals, as well as one featuring Santa about to get anal probe from an alien. None of those sweaters are still for sale through Walmart. Funny enough, Walmart Canada is still offering a different sweater by Urban Planet, which features Santa hanging stockings over a lit fireplace, wearing no pants, with the tagline "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire."

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In the end, there's definitely a market for these kind of adult-themed sweaters, which would surely be fun at a college Christmas party, or holiday gathering amongst adults. The problem with offering the product through a venue like Walmart is that there are too many young eyes that might see and start asking questions that parents don't want to answer.

...But hey, if you really want it, you can still find it online.

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