Every now and then, a movie comes along that is almost universally deemed to be a swing and a miss. For instance, Prime Video’s War of the Worlds. And, on certain types of nights, these are the best movies to watch with a friend or three. If watching Plan 9 from Outer Space alone, you may chuckle at its cinematic inadequacies, but in a group, you can bounce off one another. What has made Mystery Science Theater 3000 a property that has lasted is the fact that it has multiple individuals (at least one of whom is a goofy robot) taking turns ripping on a poor film. There’s nothing like a really, really bad movie to bring about a humorous camaraderie amongst friends (a few shots of whiskey included, should the viewers be of age).
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Just missing the cut were Catwoman, Hobgoblins, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and Mac and Me. As for those later two, a good friend could just show an unsuspecting friend the “Garbage Day!” scene on YouTube and Paul Rudd’s trolling Conan O’Brien with a particular Mac and Me scene. Any one of the 10 or so times Rudd has done that would suffice.
6) Anaconda
Anaconda is getting a star-studded reimagining come December, and for those who love the original film, that’s both exciting and worrying. The reboot features Jack Black and Paul Rudd at the top of the cast list, which seems to indicate that those behind it are at least somewhat going for a comedy. The original is more of an old-fashioned monster movie, though it does have a few unintentional laughs courtesy of Jon Voight’s outlandish performance.
This is not a movie that deserved a Worst Picture Razzie nomination, and the only entry on this list that is worthy of a sincere defense. In terms of pacing and creature design, it’s excellent, but you should still gather your friends to chuckle at the waterfall that somehow manages to flow backwards, the monkey that suddenly appears in the snake’s mouth, Voight’s performance, and the beast’s screaming (which, like with the shark in Jaws: The Revenge, snakes cannot do).
Stream Anaconda on Netflix.
5) The Avengers (1998)
As awful as 1998’s The Avengers (based on the British TV series of the same name) is, even it can’t make Ralph Fiennes look like a bad actor. Sean Connery does not escape that fate.
It looks like Connery is having a blast playing a villain, but, man, is it too much. Having his minions dressed as big plush teddy bears does not help matters. This is a spy comedy that only thinks it’s funny but never is. At least, not when it’s trying to be. What is funny is how anyone thought it would work, especially to the point they were willing to put $60 million into it before marketing costs.
Stream The Avengers on Kanopy.
4) Freddy Got Fingered
One of the strangest movies ever made, Freddy Got Fingered is the type of movie that could only originate from the brain of a niche performer who suddenly got big and was handed the keys to a studio-funded kingdom. And then that kingdom basically tanked his career trajectory overnight.
If the film is about anything, it’s about a slacker aspiring cartoonist who resents his father for trying to be a father. His way of reacting to that varies, but suffice to say it culminates in him masturbating a Pakistani elephant until the elephant ejaculates so hard his father is blown backwards. That’s the type of sentence that either gets you to wrangle your friends up immediately or confirms this is something you will never watch in your life, even if you lasted a quarter century.
Stream Freddy Got Fingered on Hulu.
3) Howard the Duck
“Hey, want to watch a Marvel movie?” This is the only way the suggestion to view Howard the Duck should start…and with zero follow-up until either the disc is in the tray, or the rent button is pushed.
A baffling movie with duck breasts and the principal from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off giving an unhinged villain performance, this is a gonzo 111 minutes. However, the most baffling thing about it is that until Blade, 12 years later, this was the only film based on a Marvel Comics property.
Stream Howard the Duck on Prime Video.
2) The Room
Like Ed Wood, Tommy Wiseau is a man who loves making movies but has absolutely no idea how to do so. His magnum opus is, without a doubt, The Room, the production of which was covered in 2017’s The Disaster Artist, starring James and Dave Franco.
This is arguably the best work for film students to watch. Not to learn what to do, but to learn how not to stage scenes, write compelling characters, or direct actors. However, if they need to learn the best way to have the line “Oh, hi Mark” read, this film is the key for that.
The Room is not available for streaming.
1) Troll 2
The original Troll had its protagonist named Harry Potter just over ten years before the publication of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. And, as strangely fortuitous as that is, it isn’t five percent as strange as anything in Troll 2.
This is a sequel with no relation to the original. It doesn’t even have a troll in it, but rather Goblins (and a town called Nilbog… which is, gasp, goblin spelled backwards). This may be the most purely enjoyable horrendous movie ever made. Most of the worst movies of all time are a slog. This one isn’t. Not one decision that went into its construction has any basis in reality or common sense, and it’s all the better for it. Also, “They’re eating her… and then they’re going to eat me… oh my Goddddd!” gives anything in The Room‘s script a serious run for its sarcastic applause-worthy money.
Stream Troll 2 on Kanopy.
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