From science and technology to chemistry and culture, it turns out movies are full of absolute nonsense that gets passed along as fact in order to advance the plot. And during a boring holiday weekend, dozens of folks headed over to a Reddit thread to talk about the things that fooled them for the longest time, or made the biggest impact, before they finally learned it was totally BS. The answers covered a wide range of topics, from how cars don’t really explode in midair after they go off a cliff, to how “Edelweiss” (from The Sound of Music) was not actually a traditional folk song, but was composed for…well…The Sound of Music.
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And in between the frustration you feel when you realize grave-digging isn’t all that easy, and your inability to “zoom and enhance,” there were a lot of interesting comments about what movies have lied to you about over the years.
Bear in mind, these aren’t people complaining about plotholes or character motivations. These are provable facts that are presented as true in the movie, and are demonstrably false in the real world.
We put together a handful of our favorites below (although we really suggest you check out the original thread, which is a goldmine).
You might say they were…Clueless
“the Pismo Beach disaster from Clueless,” offered frogsonnyangel. “I’ve been watching that movie since 2014 and found out this year it wasn’t a real event.”
Not to be outdone, pi_face_ added, “I first watched that in the early 00s and I am only finding this out because of this post.”
I mean…can you really trust Tyler anyway?
Some Fight Club insight from Wake_and_Cake:
“If you burn yourself with lye, rinsing it with vinegar will NOT help. There’s an exothermic reaction and you end up with a heat burn as well as a chemical burn. Thanks a lot Tyler Durden.”
GoldenFoxEngraving added, “Also the chemical burns from lye when making soap are not smoking and bubbling. Its just a burning feeling and your skin starts to go red and even after you’ve washed it off it continues to burn and hurt. Then it may bluster after a while. Like even a few hours later. It’s like a heat related burn but almost in slow motion for want of a better description.”
Steven Seagal. Just…Steven Segal.
Here’s a delightful story from IndyO1975:
True story: I go to a test screening of a Seagal flick in the San Fernando Valley. After the movie ends we all fill out the questionnaire and then, in the lobby, I start looking around because I know it’s common for the filmmakers and sometimes the actors to wait to get the tabulated result of the “cards.” The scores.
I walk around the corner and there’s Seagal berating some guys. He’s dressed up and there’s this 6 foot blonde in a slinky, red strappy dress nearby. I assume she’s with him so I walk over to her. “Are you with Seagal?” She nods, doesn’t look at me. I look back at the action star then back to her and ask,”are you his girlfriend?” She practically snorts. “Girlfriend? Ha. Not a chance kid.” A pause, then she finally turns to look me in the eye… “I’m his protection.” “His protection?” “I’m his bodyguard. He hires women who look like they could be his dates to protect him.”
My mind was blown. Never looked at him the same way again.
Knockouts
Stillwater215 chimed in with some fight scene expertise.
“That it easy to knock someone out, and that if you do they will wake up fine in an hour,” the wrote. “In reality, it takes a very strong strike to the head that will likely cause a concussion, and the longer you’re unconscious the more likely you are to have severe, lasting brain damage.”
“They made be believe that choreographed martial arts were the ultimate fighting form, and that one well trained man can take on an entire biker gang in a bar fight,” MustHaveMaxedGally added.
CPR isn’t sexy
“Movies depict CPR as five heart-felt chest rubs that spur people back to life,” said marvelousteat. “CPR is a part of resuscitative measures that are much more violent, invasive, and often less successful than the silver screen would lead audiences to believe.”
Burglary isn’t fun
“When I was a kid I thought all burglars cut precise circular holes in windows with a specialized tool,” said Blueberry_Mancakes. “Nope, they just break your f—ing window.”
APe28Comococo added, “Shitty ones break windows. Pros just don’t bother with locked up places unless they know there is abnormally good stuff in there. Like never tell anyone you have lots of cash or precious metals bars.”
Explosives
MrLore said, “I was quite disappointed when I saw a real EMP bomb detonation and there was no cool lightning effects or electronics sparking and exploding.”
This led to some follow-ups about explosives in general, including notes from folks who were seriously disappointed by how exciting hand grenades were during their military training.
“Yeah… 80’s and 90’s hand grenades were apparently filled with gasoline for some reason,” joked 3720-to-1.
This one’s a bit disturbing, just so it’s said…
Geektimus Prime answered, “A single stroke of your hand downward over a dead person’s eyes will cause them to close.”
That prompted this depressing response from ItCouldBeRabies: “Whenever I put someone’s pet to sleep I always tell them the eyes aren’t going to close. Had a kennel boy working with me one time who also worked part-time at the local funeral home when I put this lady’s dog down. She asked if they didn’t close their eyes then why are people’s eyes closed at funerals? Without missing a beat this kid merrily pipes in, “Oh we glue their eyes shut!” Instant bawling in horror.”
Zero Effect’s mattress problem
My personal contribution, because I’ve never felt so betrayed:
In Zero Effect, Daryl said, “The bed we just moved is a full-size bed. In 1972, there was no size called full. They had doubles and queens. The full was invented to combine the width of a queen with the space-efficient length of a double, and eventually replaced the double in North America and Europe, except for Quebec and Sweden.”
In the film’s own commentary track, Jake Kasdan admits it’s bulls–t.
