There are Christmas-themed movies out there that make Kevin McCallister’s war against Harry and Marv look like, well, child’s play. Movies that seem to revel in either making their audience’s hearts race or tummy’s feel queasy. Sometimes a bit of both.
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From slashers to actioners, what follows are the movies that are less merry and bright and more gory and fight. They’re not all fully comparable when it comes to quality, but they do all possess a level of gunfire (or stabbing or thrown fists) that make them tough watches for the pacifists of the world. Merry Christmas with all the trimmings? Well, not in the following cases, as it seems very little was edited out of these movies.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
One of the most controversial films ever made, Silent Night, Deadly Night inspired a lot of protests. Parents didn’t like their kids seeing Santa Claus turned into a serial killer on the film’s marketing materials. And, given just how violent and gory the movie is, parents had a point.
As an ’80s slasher, it’s slightly above average in the quality department, but only slightly. In terms of featuring brutal kill scenes, it’s right up there with fellow just-below-A-list slashers The Prowler and The Burning. That said, its immediate sequel gives it a run for its bloody money, at least when it not rehashing the first film with oodles of stock footage.
Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
The Cannon Group, the schlock house production company behind Breakin’ and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, made very few films that could be called objectively “good.” For the most part, they churned out Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson and, towards the end, Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicles. Invasion U.S.A. was one of Norris’, and it saw him reteam with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter director Joseph Zito after collaborating one year prior on Cannon’s Missing in Action.
Like Missing in Action, Invasion U.S.A. is about as excessive as a movie can get. The plot, as it were, focuses on Soviet/Cuban-fronted guerrilla forces invading the United States of America and there’s only one man who can mow them all down (for instance, in the middle of a festively decked out shopping mall). It’s pretty standard Chuck Norris stuff, but at least it has the martial artist blast character actor Richard Lynch’s stereotypical Russian villain out a window.
Cobra (1986)
If the aforementioned Cannon Group had one major hit, it was Cobra. The film essentially started off as Beverly Hills Cop, which was initially intended to be a star vehicle for Sylvester Stallone. But, when Stallone rewrote the script, renaming the lead character Axel Cobretti, removing the humor, and upping the violence, it was decided that it would be a better fit as a vehicle for Eddie Murphy. Yet, after some slight reworking, Stallone’s ultra-violent vision for that blockbuster did end up hitting the screen, just with him playing Marion Cobretti and going after a cabal of serial killers.
Suffice it to say, Beverly Hills Cop is both lighter and a lot more fun. Cobra can quite often be a bit too dour for its own good. On the upside, Brian Thompson made for a truly terrifying villain and the film is good for some unintentional laughs, primarily fueled by supposedly intimidating one-liners.
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Lethal Weapon (1987)
Director Richard Donner and Christmas-loving screenwriter Shane Black’s Lethal Weapon hinges as much on the chemistry between the two leads as it does well-choreographed shootouts. Fortunately for audiences (and Warner Bros., given how large that audience was back in 1987), the film succeeds on both fronts. As for the latter point, there’s Gary Busey with a sniper rifle, a car full of grenades exploding, a drive-by shooting, a desert stand-off, and some suburban fisticuffs. Heck, Mel Gibson’s Martin Riggs even slaps and pokes some perps’ eyes like Larry, Curly, and Moe of The Three Stooges.
There’s an argument to be made the second film is even better than the first, but there’s just as strong an argument to be made that the fresh nature of the original makes it the most rewatchable of the bunch. It’s also the only one of the quadrilogy that takes place during Christmas, making it a worthwhile holiday treat. Black’s similarly festive actioner The Long Kiss Goodnight is also pretty violent, but its sequences lack the impact of Lethal Weapon‘s.
Die Hard (1988)
When it comes to ’80s action movies set around Christmas, there’s only one that beats Lethal Weapon, and that’s John McTiernan’s Die Hard. Much has been written and said about this classic, and it’s easy to see why. Perfectly paced and a wild ride from first frame to last, it is the action movie.
John McClane is a likable but flawed protagonist, and if there weren’t three sequels the audience would truly wonder if he’s going to make it out of Nakatomi Plaza alive. Featuring iconic scenes, a couple of famous one-liners, and one of cinema history’s great villains, Die Hard is a true masterpiece. Oh, and there are plenty of bullets and bloodshed, making it the ultimate violent Christmas flick (depending on where you fall regarding its status as a Christmas flick).
Black Christmas (2006)
The original Black Christmas is a mostly bloodless affair. Given its early ’70s release, it debuted back when studios had a harder time getting a bunch of gore included in the final cut. The 2006 loose remake, however, is perhaps the most aggressive and vicious slasher of its respective decade. It also apparently has some sort of axe to grind when it comes to the human eye (ostensibly a reference to how the viewer only sees the killer’s eye in Bob Clark’s film).
Whereas the first film was subtle, e.g. having a young woman asphyxiated by a plastic bag, the 2006 rendition is not. For instance, it has the bag scene (more than once), but it’s not content to move on from that until the gasping person is stabbed or has their eye yanked out by hand. Another example of the film’s gratuitous nature is the killer beating his mother to death with a rolling pin, using a cookie cutter on her back, then eating the…cookies. And, if that weren’t enough to make one’s stomach churn, there’s also a scalping by ice skate. Oh, and while it’s not an example of violence per se, the movie gives its killer an equally murderous sister…who is also his daughter. In other words, 2006’s Black Christmas was, until very recently, the most superfluously brutal and nasty festive fright fest out there.
Fatman (2020)
It may be the least violent film on this list, but Fatman still provides action flick junkies with enough satisfaction to make it a worthy rental. For the most part, the film is all build-up, and it’s because of that the film works at all. It also gives the third-act elongated shoot-out a bit more oomph in the stakes department.
The narrative follows Mel Gibson’s Chris Cringle and his wife, Ruth, whose Christmas present workshop is on the verge of going under. Children aren’t the kind innocents they once were and, worse yet, the government subsidized business is losing some of its backing. The Cringles accept a proposed contract from the military to build fighter jets, which upset Chris, but not as much as having a grudge-bearing hit man come to his home/workplace. The hit man, Jonathan Miller (played by the always terrific Walton Goggins), was hired by a particularly rotten kid who isn’t pleased with the lump of coal he received this year. Too bad for the rotten kid the contracted kill doesn’t go as planned, though Miller certainly takes out a lot of Army guards in route to the big guy. Or, rather, the Fatman.
Violent Night (2022)
Christmas movies are at their best when they follow a dysfunctional family. For most people, it’s an element that helps the movie feel true to real life. Violent Night follows one seriously dysfunctional family, and one seriously dysfunctional Santa Claus.
It’s the holiday movie version of John Wick, which makes sense considering it was produced by the co-director of the first film (and executive producer of the three sequels) David Leitch. So, as anyone who’s seen a John Wick installment knows, it’s riddled with a sense of fun and impeccably choreographed action sequences. If you’re in the mood for a version of Die Hard where John McClane has reindeer and a bag full of toys, this is the right pick.
Terrifier 3 (2024)
A few months ago, very few could have possibly guessed that an unrated, ultra-gory slasher flick would destroy the sequel to 2019’s box office juggernaut Joker on the latter’s second weekend. But that’s exactly what happened, both because the Joker sequel flopped hard, and Terrifier 3 proved that the audience for Art the Clown gorefests is even larger than anticipated. Long story short it was a worthy win, because the film is a modern slasher classic.
Like with the second film, Terrifier 3‘s ace in the hole is its focus on character. But that wouldn’t work if the performances weren’t up to snuff and, thanks primarily to Lauren LaVera, the acting is top-notch. Naturally, David Howard Thornton is again, well, terrifying (and intermittently hilarious) as Art, as is Samantha Scaffidi as Victoria Heyes (the first film’s protagonist), but it’s LaVera who keeps the whole bloody nightmare a cut above competition.
Though, when it comes to blood, the competition is slim. And, for the musophobic (fear of rats) out there, Willard himself couldn’t hold a squeaking candle to Terrifier 3.