Last night the world got the surprising news that it never expected to hear, an alternate cut of the notoriously bad movie Cats (released in theaters just three months ago) exists somewhere with some…alterations. Jack Waz, a writer in Hollywood who is working on Howard the Duck, revealed he heard third hand of the existence of a version of the film that featured “CGI buttholes that had been inserted.” Waz revealed that a friend-of-a-friend had been hired to remove said buttholes months ahead of the release of the film. Naturally, whether heard third hand or not, this news spread like…wildfire.
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The story quickly went viral with fans asking for Universal Pictures to release the ‘Butthole Cut’ of Cats like fans of filmmaker Zack Snyder have been pleading for over two years now. Celebrities threw their support behind the movement including Rian Johnson and Seth Rogen.
Alas, it was too good to be true. Noted internet prankster Ben Mekler, whose tweets about Cats spawned the revelation of the “butthole cut,” shared an update from someone that worked in VFX on the film revealing that no such cut existed. However there is some truth though as the source revealed that the fur technology on the film created instances where “the skin and fur sim was groomed or just folded in a way that really REALLY looked like very furry lady genitals and buttholes by accident.”
The internet had some strong and hilarious reactions to both the news of the existence of the “butthole cut” and then the denial of such a cut, the best reactions to which we’ve collected below.
There’s precedent
Reminder that The Secret Life of Pets had the guts to put a butthole on the cat…#ReleaseTheButtholeCut pic.twitter.com/kHCE67zfMa
โ Alex Leadbeater (@ADLeadbeater) March 18, 2020
Every day we stray further
*sees #releasethebuttholecut trending, right before switching tabs*
โ Aly (pls wash your hands!) (@TheDeathNerd) March 18, 2020
*switches back* pic.twitter.com/g2MHlHiRH0
True horror
Only when we collectively gaze upon true horror can we overcome the mundane horrors of everyday life. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/P36FFwkoqG
โ Civvie11 (@Civvie11) March 18, 2020
It will save movie theaters when they re-open
Movie theaters face an impossible challenge. Some say they wonโt survive.
โ Russ Fischer (@russfischer) March 18, 2020
We need a flag to rally around; something to inspire passion in every audience. A movie weโll all clamor to see the moment that silver screen flickers back to life. #ReleaseTheButtholeCut
@ Universal Pictures if you #ReleaseTheButtholeCut then people are gonna stay at home to watch it instead of going out and spreading the coronavirus. the survival of humanity is in your hands.
โ Brian is staying at home (@brianNpikachu) March 18, 2020
Quarantine magic
1605: While quarantined, Shakespeare writes King Lear.
โ Josh Spiegel (@mousterpiece) March 18, 2020
1665: While quarantined, Sir Isaac Newton discovered calculus.
2020: While quarantined, we rally together to #ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/syoEqSbpcU
They can’t stop all of us
The guard in Area 51 watching the butthole cut#releasethebuttholecut pic.twitter.com/V3AtgsOxHq
โ Joshua (@akiyama4001) March 19, 2020
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING?
WHAT ARE THEY HIDING FROM US
โ John Scalzi (@scalzi) March 18, 2020
(besides buttholes I mean)#ReleaseTheButtholeCut https://t.co/6xNmIMWtzC
Cover-up
Well I don’t smell it because… ew.
โ Chris Hicks (@WriteChrisWrite) March 18, 2020
It was nice to imagine
Aw, and here I was imagining some poor soul of a designer sitting at their desk custom designing buttholes for the movie and wondering how they ended up at that place in their lives.
โ Uldihaa (@Uldihaa) March 18, 2020
Bad news all day
This is not the news we needed today =(
โ Minhdzuy (@minhdzuy) March 18, 2020
Leave Academy Award winner Judi Dench out of this
It’s horrific anyway, they don’t need to release a butthole cut. I don’t need to see Judi Dench’s cat butthole D:
โ Brandon Fitz-Gerald (@Fitzginger) March 19, 2020