Man Writes His Own Obituary, Admits To Being Spider-Man

After a long battle with a brain tumor he was diagnosed with in 2011, Aaron Joseph Purmort passed away last week, Rawstory reports.

Before his death, Purmort and his wife Nora penned a most witty obituary where he confessed that he was Spider-Man and was formerly married to Gwen Stefani.

“Before Purmort died, we had time to sit down and write his obituary,” Nora said "I've never laughed and cried more in one sitting,but I’m glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much.”

Nora chronicled their love affair and his medical battles on Following her husband’s passing on Nov. 25, Nora posted the obituary on the site which also ran in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city.

His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often.

In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.

He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.


A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.

Announcing Purmort’s death on Tumblr, Nora stated. “He was here, and then he was gone. It was tangible, this sudden hole that appeared in the center of the universe when he left his body to become everything all around me, just as he promised to do.”