IRL

Pumpkin Spice Wet Wipes Have An Appropriately Inappropriate Name

The pumpkin spice craze is headed to your butt in a new way with DUMPkin Spice Dude Wipes.
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Add another one to the pumpkin spice roundup for 2023. Yes, it’s clear that the pumpkin spice craze is now officially out of control thanks to Dude Wipes, who have unleashed DUMPkin Spice wet wipes into the world. You’ll feel extra cozy – and fresh – with a butt that smells of clove, nutmeg, “and other fall scents”. Plus, they’re flushable and come in an extra large size to handle all of the pumpkin spice products that you’ve been eating. 

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Who would want this you ask? Let us explain the logic. Ordinarily, pumpkin spice products would simply pass through your system, and that would be the end of the experience. With DUMPkin Spice wet wipes, you can keep your butt in the game until your next pumpkin spice fix. It makes complete sense. If you agree, you can pick up a 3-pack (144 wipes total) here on Amazon and here at Walmart for $14.99. 

Dude Wipes has composed the following description for DUMPkin Spice wet wipes. Read it and imagine yourself sipping a hot pumpkin spice latte. There’s a chill in the air, but it might just be the chills that you are experiencing while sitting on the toilet with no clothes on. Eating a whole tub of Philadelphia pumpkin spice cream cheese spread did not end well. 

“When nature’s calling and leaves are falling, keep your butt cozy with a mix of clove, nutmeg, and other fall scents; Made with 99% water and plant-based ingredients, our butt wipes are formulated for a gentle, more refreshing feeling than toilet paper.”

Now if only someone would invent a bidet that shot pumpkin spice latte. That would really be something. 

In Other Pumpkin Spice News

Nestle Toll House recently revealed that they are bringing back two fan-favorite cookies as well as introducing a brand-new seasonal treat. The brand recently announced that not only are both Pumpkin Spice Cookie Dough and M&M’s Ghoul’s Mix Sugar Cookie Dough returning this year, but they are also launching the new Hot Cocoa & Marshmallow Morsels just in time for holiday baking.

Returning for the fall is fan-favorite Pumpkin Spice Cookie Dough. The treat is described as a mix of sweet pumpkin spice flavor and premiere White Morsels and is a great way to embrace all things pumpkin spice and kick off the fall season. It’s available in 14 oz packages with a suggested retail of $4.40, though price may vary by retailer.

Also returning is the beloved M&M’s Ghoul’s Mix Sugar Cookie Dough. Just in time for trick or treat season — though heavy on the “treat” — the deliciously spooky cookie dough is also returning in 14 oz packages with a suggested retail of $4.40.  As for the new offering, this fall, Toll House is putting a new twist on a classic with Hot Cocoa & Marshmallow Morsels. The morsels combine strong, rich hot cocoa and light sweet marshmallow flavor in morsels that are the perfect addition to your baked goods but are just as delicious straight form the bag. They are available in 9 oz packages for a suggested price of $3.79. All three seasonal offerings are set to start rolling out this month.

7-Eleven is also getting in on pumpkin spice this year. Available now at 7-Eleven, fans can get the Pumpkin Spice Latte, Pumpkin Pie Coffee, and Pumpkin Syrup. As for more fall-oriented items, beginning on August 30th, the Pumpkin Muffin and Apple Cider Donut will be joining the lineup, as well as other apple-flavored items, like the Apple Sack Pie and Apple Danish.