Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate one’s family, friends, and the past year’s accomplishments. Everyone can agree that it’s nice to see the folks, and who doesn’t love gorging in unlimited amounts of turkey, mashed potatoes, and pecan pie.
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The same can be said of the Marvel universe, where the heroes also take the time to appreciate how far they’ve come and just managing to survive another year. When you’ve been around as long as they have, there are bound to be some touchy subjects, one’s that can immediately throw the conversation into chaos if they happen to come up.
With the stakes so high, it was best to put together a guide for what not to bring up at a Marvel Thanksgiving, so hit the next slide to get started.
MaryJane Making A Deal With The Devil
Religion is typically something to be avoided at the Thanksgiving feast in general, along with politics and The Walking Dead, as it’s hard to talk about zombie’s guts and still enjoy your cured ham.
In Mary Jane’s case, it wouldn’t even matter what religionย your aunt, uncle, grandmother or grandfather subscribed to, as all could probably agree on the premise that making any deal with Marvel’s version of the devil is a bad decision.
In the controversial One More Day storyline in Spider-Man, Aunt May was slowly passing away from a bullet wound. Peter and MJ attempted everything they could to save her, both of the practical and mystical variety, but nothing worked. Mephisto showed up and offered to save May from death’s door, but he would need something in return, which turned out to be their love. Peter balked at the idea, but Mary Jane then agreed to do it as long as he left Peter alone. If you subscribe to the other text, then she is the only one to remember anything.
It’s controversial not only for the fact that it effectively erased her and Peter’s marriage but also because it was an editorial mandate that prompted the whole ordeal in the first place. From both angles, it’s best to avoid the topic when Nana is passing the yams.
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Sending Hulk To Space
When Uncle Merle corners you and decides to evaluateย the merits of your career choices at Thanksgiving brunch, you’ve most likely dreamed of various ways to vacate the premises. If you were a member of Marvel’s Illuminati, you might have even tried to send him to outer space. if it’s all the same to you, maybe you should pass on that, as it really didn’t work out for the Marvel Universe.
In the Planet Hulk storyline, the Illuminati came up with a brilliant plan. To help keep their world safe they opted to send The Hulk away. The thing is, they didn’t just send him to an island or a far off facility. No no, they decided to send him to another planet.
That’s hardcore.
They actually pulled it off, but then his ship blew up, killing his current wife and hurting his new home planet, and he rightfully got a bit ticked. He then came back to earth, imprisonedย the heroes of the Marvel Universe, and made them suffer in arena battles.
Things are better now, sure, but it’s still a sore subject, so probably best to avoid the topic.
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That Whole Imprisoning Fellow Heroes In Civil War
Disagreements are bound to happen amongst friends and family, but if one of those disagreements boiled over to an extreme degree, you would most likely not imprison them.
Iron Man, Reed Richards, and rest of the Initiativeย went one better, though. They decided to build a new custom precisionย especially for their friends who sided with Captain America during Civil War. Not only was the prison meant to hold superhumans, but it was built in the negative zone, so they were literally sending their fellow heroes to another universe because they wouldn’t unmask and side with the government.
Yeah, that’s pretty low.
Things have been patched up since then, but once liquor gets involved, you should avoid the topic at all costs unless you want your couch to end up on the front lawn.ย
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Hawkeye
Thanksgiving is already awkward enough for some, but imagine you were responsible for killing someone that was beloved by almost the entire room.
Well, except for the guys who shipped him off to another planet. Yeah, no one likes those guys either.
In the recent Civil War II storyline, Captain America’s machinationsย resulted in Bruce Banner getting aholdย of some gamma radiation research. That didn’t go over too well with the superhero community at large once they found out, and likewise, their presence didn’t sit too well with Banner.
As the two faced off in an ever escalating situation, an arrow was launched at Banner’s head, killing him instantly. The shooter was none other than Hawkeye, who had a secret deal in place (or so he says) with Banner about killing him before he could hulk out if the situation arose.
It couldn’t’ be provided that Banner was indeed transforming, but even if it’s proven, it’s still a hard pill to swallow that a fellow Avenger killed an icon.
That’s why Hawkeye now sits at the kid’s table, as they’re pretty much the only peopleย who can stand him.
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That No One Can Understand Groot
If you’ve ever sat around the table with family and friends, you are familiar with the unique language that forms. Inside jokes and old TV references are coupled with politicalย opinions and why Nana’s tea doesn’t taste right this year because there’s always one who likes to criticize free food.
In any case, every family has a distinctiveย language of its own, and that is certainly the case for Groot. Unfortunately for the lovable tree, only a few are able to understand him, and so the conversation can halt to a standstill when he’s involved in the conversation without one of his best buds.
Still, it isn’t polite to stare, and proper Thanksgiving etiquette is to smile and nod until Rocket can fill you in on the details. Otherwise, Groot can get his feelings hurt, and you will feel horribleย about yourself if you make Groot cry.
Seriously, it’s depressing, and there’s alreadyย enough of that at Thanksgiving.
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