Santa Claus himself stopped by Fallon Tonight this week and made some shocking proclamations. Okay, so it wasn't the *real* Santa, but if you were a '90s kid, Tim Allen is the only Santa you've ever known.
When discussing his classic 1994 film, The Santa Clause (shout-out to everyone who didn't notice the spelling of 'Clause' until they were a full-blown adults), Allen revealed that the story of Scott Calvin almost began much drearier.
"The original Santa Clause was little darker, written by two comedians, and I actually shot and killed Santa in the original movie." While Santa still met an unfortunate fate in the beginning of the film, it wasn't quite as bleak.
Apparently, the head of Disney shut it down, saying, "We can't start a Disney movie with you murdering Santa Claus." In natural Allen fashion, the actor tried to push for it. "I’m a comedian, why not? That's funny!" As hilarious as gunning down Santa would've been, Tim, the beginning we ended up with is probably best.
The actor wasn't shy about being an odd choice to play the most iconic character in the history of holidays. "I'm literally the last guy in the world that should be Santa Claus," he joked, "because I don't like kids all that much." Don't worry, he specified, "I’m not gonna hurt 'em, I don't say inappropriate stuff, I just don’t like them." At least he's honest!
Tim Allen may not be a lover of children, but he does have some daughters of his own. He told Fallon about the experience of showing The Santa Clause to his youngest.
"I tried to warn her, we're gonna see this movie, but I want you to know, it’s a movie. Your dad plays characters." He adorably explained to his daughter that everything about the production was on the up and up with the "real" Santa, telling her they got permission to film at the North Pole.
"I have to explain to the kid, now I don't want you going to school and telling your classmates your dad is Santa Claus, because he's an actor."
Allen went on to talk about filming the movie, and how he probably scarred a whole generation of child actors for life by walking around set in the Santa suit, dropping "f" bombs, and smoking cigarettes.
"So I gotta act like I’m actually Santa Claus? These little creeps actually think I’m Santa?," he joked about being on set. In a moment of panic, when some of the kids asked what Santa eats, Allen said immediate response was "reindeer." Poor Judy the Elf!